Swaying To The Music: The Forgotten Art Of Slow Dancing

Why do Baptists never make love standing up? Because it will lead to dancing. Silly joke, but as someone who grew up Southern Baptist, it’s funny because it really does seem that Baptists fear dancing more than sex sometimes. With America’s puritanical heritage, dancing has often fallen right in line with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. So when I became comfortable with my gay sexuality, I also discovered the goodness of dancing. What a wonderful release and celebration of my authenticity — the blissful and free movement of my body in whatever way it struck me in the moment!

Dating Bradford: Summer Luvin'

“Where were you last night till 3?” Asked Jetson on the deck of his shack on the water in P-Town, “Everything closes here at one, so I take it you got into some trouble?”

Breaking Up (And Surviving) Is Hard To Do

Oh! The agony of ending a relationship. The rejection, the sense of failure, the loss, and the sadness — these feelings are so intense, that it seems like they will never end. Hopelessness abounds from the fear you’ll never find anyone else to share your life with. You may be embarrassed to talk to friends for fear they won’t understand, or, worse yet, they start preaching to you about how the guy wasn’t good for you anyway — that's helpful and supportive! In the swirl of confusion, helplessness and change it’s so hard to keep perspective. So here are some reminders to weather the stormy end of a relationship.

Getting Out Of A Sexual Slump

Dear Gay Sexpert, Recently I have not been feeling my sexual self, which is odd, considering I am 18 and “should” have a very healthy libido. I haven't had sex in nearly 5 months nor have I had the urge; porn has lost its appeal now as well. Just a week ago I was in a position where I could have had sex, but it seemed like a chore & I just wasn't interested. I've never had any problems before and have always been quick to 'rise' to the occasion. I'm pretty sure that whatever is going on is psychological. — Frustrated and Confused

"Do I Have To Be Out?"

How does coming out fit into our identity? The question of coming out raises the issue of private and public personas. How much of our life is private and how much is public. This public side of our identity is the stuff we show with most people. Obviously, the private side is the part of our self that we keep "close to our chest."

There are many reasons for not disclosing sexual identity. For some people it's about safety. I've worked with people in the corrections field who suggest that coming out in prison is not a safe place. Then there is the current military policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" which highlights the consequences of coming out. And still today, in some countries, coming out risks a death sentence.

Can We Get A Lil' Love?

I wanted to find out the relationship status of the people who peruse this site (which is not necessarily those who have personals or memberships) so I set up a simple survey. My curiosity was piqued since out of all the people who rant and rage about what kind of relationships work and don’t work, rarely do these folks mention their own relationship status. These entries literally number in the thousands and yet they are all but silent about their own connections. I find this fascinating. Just to be fair, I am single, and have been in relationships in the past, for a total of 15 years.

Beginning The Coming Out Process

It is sometimes easy to forget that our community is diverse. We are comprised of individuals at different places in the coming out process. The coming out process is a remarkably individual thing and each of us will move through the experience in our own way. It is important to remember that each of us chooses the method of our coming out. For some people, this will be a relatively "easy" process while others will have a significant struggle.

An important tool is breaking through the isolation and shame of sexual orientation by sharing our personal story and listening to the stories of others. The public stories shared on the website as well as some of the emails I received highlight how important this is for many people. I'm moved by the amount of pain, fear, shame and guilt many people still struggle with in their process of coming out. I'm also moved by the courage expressed in the stories that can serve as inspiration to others.

Dating Bradford: Do You Party?

“Do you party?” He asked on the street where we met.

“Oh” I said, realization dawning as his attractive points plummeted, “No, I don’t, uhh, do drugs… anymore.” I threw in the “anymore” as a been-there-done-that type of thing to show I wasn’t just being puritanical. “Those messy days are over.” I emphasized “over” so he knew I wouldn’t be providing any party favors.

Living A Life I Love

The conversation evolving from the discussion "Are you a sex addict" raises questions about what a sexually healthy life looks like. The fear is someone is going to again tell them they shouldn't be having sex or they are doing something wrong. This is even more the case when some 12-step approaches to sexual addiction are openly anti-gay. They typically define sexual health as "sexual contact between a man and women in a married relationship." For obvious reasons, this definition of sexual health has problems when trying to apply it to the LGBT community.

Lies, Lies, Lies...

When it comes to gay Internet profiles, some guys are upfront and honest -- and others lie. And the Internet makes it so much easier to hide the truth when meeting someone. In some ways, lying in some degree has even become expected when chatting, hooking up or otherwise connecting online.

What we lie about is often an indication of what we are insecure about, and where we harbor shame. With this in mind, let's take a look at what guys most often lie about on their profiles: