Swaying To The Music: The Forgotten Art Of Slow Dancing

Why do Baptists never make love standing up? Because it will lead to dancing. Silly joke, but as someone who grew up Southern Baptist, it’s funny because it really does seem that Baptists fear dancing more than sex sometimes. With America’s puritanical heritage, dancing has often fallen right in line with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. So when I became comfortable with my gay sexuality, I also discovered the goodness of dancing. What a wonderful release and celebration of my authenticity — the blissful and free movement of my body in whatever way it struck me in the moment!

Can I Spread Herpes By Kissing?

Can I transmit genital herpes by kissing? I have just been diagnosed and have a sore on my buttocks.

Don't worry, you will not transmit genital herpes on your butt to anyone else by kissing them. Herpes is spread from direct contact between the area of infection and the skin of some one else. If you had herpes on the lip, then yes, kissing is a way to spread herpes. Kissing can also spread syphilis but not infections like HIV and rarely gonorrhea or Chlamydia.

Protected Sex, Negative Test, Still Nervous

I had protected sex with someone who did not know he was HIV positive. I was anally receptive, and this man never ejaculated that evening. I was told about his HIV status a few months later and was promptly tested afterwards. The test came out negative, but I am still worried. What should I do?

The Risk Of Spreading Herpes

"I went to the doctor for a rash on the sides of my torso. I tested positively for genital herpes, but I have never had any signs of herpes before. I have not been in a sexual relationship with anyone for 3 years before my new relationship, and my partner tested negatively for STDs. My doctor said I probably have immunity to herpes and I have less than 1% chance of spreading the virus to my partner. Is this accurate?"

Nervous About Swallowing

"I’m thinking of swallowing the cum of my male lover when I give him oral sex. Am I at risk in any way?  I am a male.  If we both had a check for STDs beforehand and came out all clear would this help?

Getting Tested After Unprotected Sex

"I had unprotected anal sex. I was the bottom, and he didn't come inside. I just want to know the risk and if should I seek help? Should I take a HIV test? Any suggestions?"

Unprotected receptive anal sex carries the highest risk for getting HIV infection. HIV can be  found in pre-cum, the fluid that sometimes comes out before ejaculation, so even if the top does not ejaculate inside there is still a risk of infection. Some doctors estimate that the risk of infection during receptive anal sex is anywhere from 1 in 50 to 1 in 500 and might even be higher (1 in 20) in HIV-infected patients who have been infected very recently (acute HIV infection).

Do You Know How To Put A Condom On Correctly?

You hear it over and over again: Condoms can save your life.  But do you know how to put one on correctly? Are you using the right-size condom? How about your choice of lube? You can't afford to make a mistake.

If you've never used a condom before, the following tips and guidelines will help you keep things safe. And if you've been using them for years, you may want to take this little refresher just to make sure you're doing things right. 

When Do Chlamydia Symptoms Show Up?

"Is it possible to have Chlamydia for a long time and then suddenly show symptoms?"

Is Baby Lotion Gentle on Condoms?

"I know that you're not supposed to use oil based lubricants with condoms, but my partner and I used baby lotion a couple times. Then I read that using it can have the same problems as using oil based lube with a condom. Are you only at risk for an std if the oil actually causes the condom to tear? Or can it become thin enough that something could pass through it without it being obvious that the condom was damaged?"

On a POZitive Note: Sexual Tilt

We were all four in the hot tub with hard-ons. My two friends from Nashville – a gay couple of five years – and I, were experiencing Pete’s legendary Jacuzzi hospitality that always kept the gay community in our small upstate New York village talking. Pete was doing his part to accommodate my guests “needs,” and I was doing my part in facilitating their friendly fraternization turning from casual into sexual. 

It started alright - the compliments, the groping, the kissing - then somewhere in my head a breaker switch tripped and I shut down - not only physically with the loss of my erection, but mentally as well. I felt panicky.