Thriving with HIV

For many years I have been thankful for the opportunity to work with the POZ community. I have worked with individuals and groups of men who were recently diagnosed as well as members of the community who were were living with HIV for over 15 years. I was invited to speak at a recent event where I talked about the fact that people are no longer SURVIVING with HIV but THRIVING with HIV.

Here are some perspectives to keep in mind to help anyone move from merely surviving to thriving:

Should Closeted Gays Be Exposed?

A few of the stories in the recent posts highlighted how individuals were outed to help them in the coming out process: friends and/or family members told other people to "help them along." To someone in the closet regarding his or her sexual orientation, the biggest fear is the exposure of the secret. This is known as "being outed.” Simply the fear of being outed has sent more than a few individuals back into the closet.

Tips To Stay On The Wagon

Dear Dr. Weston I noticed on your bio that you work at Pride Institute so I thought you might have some ideas to help me. I've been in and out of recovery for the last 6 years and just haven't been able to stay clean. I've been sober for about 9 months now, I go to my meetings, but I'm getting way too close to relapsing again.

Got any help?

Dating Bradford: Do You Party?

“Do you party?” He asked on the street where we met.

“Oh” I said, realization dawning as his attractive points plummeted, “No, I don’t, uhh, do drugs… anymore.” I threw in the “anymore” as a been-there-done-that type of thing to show I wasn’t just being puritanical. “Those messy days are over.” I emphasized “over” so he knew I wouldn’t be providing any party favors.

Coping With Grief In A Relationship

The responses on my recent articles "Do all gay men cheat?" and "Are you really over your ex?" brought to light a level of hurt and grief many people experience but may not understand. As you looking toward the future and new relationships, it may be helpful to address feelings of grief and loss.

Coming Out As Gay

One of the more disappointing reactions I saw in the comments left on the "Can Someone Choose To Be Gay?" article is the judgmental attitudes towards those who aren't completely "out". I think we can help our community and ourselves by better understanding that the coming out experience is different for each of us. The ability to label one's self as "gay" varies person to person. Some people "know" from an early age; others "know" at a later time in their life. For some people this process is easy. For others, the coming out process can be very difficult.

On A POZitive Note: The Medical Maelstrom

Choosing a health care plan is frustrating. Choosing one when you’ve just been diagnosed HIV positive and haven’t had health insurance for over ten years is scary. For instance I bet you didn't know that if you've had more than a three-month break in coverage, most insurance companies have a mandatory 12 month coverage block on all “pre-existing conditions” and being diagnosed HIV positive, or having cancer, or even diabetes falls under the heading of “pre-existing.” 

“Well, just don’t tell them” said a friend, but they have ways of finding out - like requesting medical records from doctors - so you can’t hide the facts. 

Naked Power

There’s an adage that says, "All the world’s problems could be solved if our leaders would hold their meetings in the nude." The image may be humorous, but you can’t miss the powerful connection between accepting our bodies and accepting each other.

How Bad Do You Want It - Part 2

When it comes to reaching goals, most people simply want it all right now.  I am certainly a fan of working smarter not harder to achieve the things in life you desire.  At the same time, we are a society of “bigger better deals” - bigger body, better house, better job or hotter boyfriend.  This, in turn, has taught many of us, consciously and unconsciously, to look for the quick fix.  Ironically, this often sabotages our efforts to actually reach our goals, since we get frustrated when things don’t happen as quickly as we want.

Dating Bradford: The Boyfriend Fast Track

My roommate didn’t come home again last night. I wasn’t worried because his last text was, “OMG, I’m SOOOOO in love with Bryan, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“Bryan who?” was all I text back.