Hot Commodity: Outsider_Eyes
Welcome to Hot Commodity, where members get vocal on everything from politics to entertainment. Check out Outsider_Eyes as he answers our Dating questions.
Tell us about your first relationship? How long did it last? Whose heart got broken, if anyone's?
It was actually with a girl. We met in my senior year of high school and got along great. I liked her spunky attitude and wasn't turned off that she had a kid. I already knew I was gay, but had never been in a relationship before and "had to be sure" (God that sounds stupid in retrospect, but what can I say I was a teenager). Needless to say I broke her heart when I came out to her. Never saw her again after that.
Have you ever gotten your heart broken? Tell us about it!
It's kind of funny. My mom thinks I'm gay because some girl broke my heart to the point that I'm turned off by anything remotely female (when she's not blaming herself), but the exact opposite is true. Not only in the above an example, but even today girls hit on me all the time and I have to let them down gently. Its men who break my heart left and right. One guy in particular stung when he dumped me. We only dated for a few weeks, but I was hoping it would become serious because we had some great times together. Hell, we were already spending nights cooking dinner in our underwear. Then one day he emails me saying I had been using him, he still had feelings for his ex, and he didn't want to see me again. I had no idea where this was coming from because I took nothing from him that he didn't offer, and he conveniently forgot the dates I paid for myself. We sent emails back and forth, and the amount of vitriol in his messages just came out of nowhere. I wanted to believe his ex hacked into his email account, but that would be too easy an answer. What made this sting worse was that it was all on the same day I was scheduled to take an exam for my PC repair certification and was hoping to see him that night to either celebrate passing or getting over failing. I passed, by the way, and went out with some friends, so the night wasn't a total waste.
I jones after so many guys, I honestly don't remember who was the first. The most interesting would have to be a classmate who I later saw working security at a gay club. It was a little awkward because I hadn't come out yet, but we talked for a little bit, catching up on old times. Then I made a pass at him and he told me he wasn't gay, he just worked there. It's kind of funny to look back on, but at the time I wanted to die.
Describe the type of guy you're most attracted to.
A total nerd... I hate when guys stress how "normal" they are. Give me someone who has stayed up all night playing a video game or reading the archives of a webcomic. Someone who knows what LARP stands for. Someone who gripes about comic book movies not being as good as the source (I mean really, did you see X-Men 3?). Of course he has to be cute, but I don't have a set preference for that. Just be close to my age and we'll see from there.
What was your best date ever?
The first date with my first long-term boyfriend. It was the Fourth of July, and we ate some take-out Chinese at this lakeside park in Cleveland and played frisbee before the firework display. During which, I received a phone call from a friend asking if we wanted to hang out later and meet his new boyfriend, and the four of us ended the night playing cards in the back of the porn shop where he worked. Totally random, I know, but it was a great time. We were together for three years after that.
I don't care what we do as long as we enjoy each other's company: we can make conversation and he's not glued to his cell phone (talking or texting, it's the easiest way to annoy me on a date). Hell, we can go to McDonald's if we're strapped for cash. What's important is that the chemistry is there.
When does sex usually come into the picture when you meet someone?
I don't set rules for it because everyone is different. I personally have nothing against sex on the first night, but if he would rather wait, I can fully respect that and give him the time he needs to trust me. I just hate the ones who act like they're on some moral high ground just because they don't have sex right away, like they're better than me. You know the type: his online profile is nothing but a rant against hooking up, with no other information about him, his personality, or interests. Of course there are pictures, which mean you would only message him if you found him physically attractive. Anyone else see a hole in that logic?
What's the worst thing about dating?
Rejection. It's the same hurt and disappointment whether you formally turn someone down or cut contact and let things fester.
What's the best thing about dating?
Seeing a world of new possibilities open up.
It's about a 50-50 split. The only guys who fall for me are the ones who I'm just not into like that, and the ones I like tend to have other plans. Like the ones who are married to their careers or schoolwork.
What's the worst line you've gotten?
Anything about my race. If you're attracted to black men, that's great, but don't drop some tired line about how you like your coffee or your desire for something big and black inside you. I might be a little on the easy side but that doesn't mean I'm a whore who exists to service your fetish. You still have to respect my mind before my body goes anywhere near you.
Do you tend to meet more people online or in bars?
Online. I tend to be ignored in gay bars by everyone but except drag queens and men old enough to be my father. Nothing against fems or mature men, it's just not what I'm looking for. Having social anxiety doesn't help either, and when I do hit on a guy, he'll turn out to be the only straight guy there. Seriously, that's happened like four times already. And plus, meeting guys in bars is nothing but physical attraction. You have no way of knowing if you'll still like him once the hormones wear off. At least online you can get an idea of his personality, hobbies, and (depending on the site) sexual interests and can decide from there to take the plunge or keep looking.
No matter what shape you're in or how old you are, you can be Hot Commodity.
Find out how.
Posted by Gay.com on September 28, 2009 | Back to gay.com
like these working tips. Well I have also such kind of thinking. Thanks for this nice post here. I like this site and will visit this site in future too.
Posted by: herbal remedies | October 27, 2009 at 11:57 PM
Very interesting interview.
Posted by: Hot Gay Guys | November 10, 2009 at 10:03 PM