Tips To Stay On The Wagon

Dear Dr. Weston I noticed on your bio that you work at Pride Institute so I thought you might have some ideas to help me. I've been in and out of recovery for the last 6 years and just haven't been able to stay clean. I've been sober for about 9 months now, I go to my meetings, but I'm getting way too close to relapsing again.

Got any help?

No More Excuses!

Bobby,

I'm a 19-year-old college student. I'm 5'11" and I weigh about 220 pounds. I want to lose weight, but it's hard because I work at a fast food restaurant, where I get free food. It’s tempting and easy to eat there because it's free and I'm a poor college student. I live too far away to walk to work. I know that I can do the regular sit-ups and pushups every night, but is there anything else I can do? When I get home from work it's usually night and I don't get up early enough to do anything in the morning.

Thanks,
Brandon

"Do I Have To Be Out?"

How does coming out fit into our identity? The question of coming out raises the issue of private and public personas. How much of our life is private and how much is public. This public side of our identity is the stuff we show with most people. Obviously, the private side is the part of our self that we keep "close to our chest."

There are many reasons for not disclosing sexual identity. For some people it's about safety. I've worked with people in the corrections field who suggest that coming out in prison is not a safe place. Then there is the current military policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" which highlights the consequences of coming out. And still today, in some countries, coming out risks a death sentence.

Dating Bradford : Pride Points

Every year at Thanksgiving I say “Hmmm… what am I thankful for this year?” Then I make a mental list and toast some theoretical champagne and in some small way it makes me feel appreciative for all that I have.

So then Gay Pride comes around and I started thinking, “Hmmm…what the HELL am I proud of this year, I’m still single for fuck sake?!?”

Coming Out - It is All About You

Whenever some thinks about coming out there is always the fear on how people will react to your news. We skip over the whole fact that coming out isn’t about other people, it is all about you.

Ask Adam & Tony: Closet Love

"Dear Adam & Tony, I wonder if there is any help on being in love with someone who is straight? I'm currently still in the closet, but I am truly in love with one of my best friends. He's straight, or at least I think he is, and I don't know how to handle it.  I don't want to lose him as a friend, but it's hard to keep pretending. What can I do?  Steve"

Can We Get A Lil' Love?

I wanted to find out the relationship status of the people who peruse this site (which is not necessarily those who have personals or memberships) so I set up a simple survey. My curiosity was piqued since out of all the people who rant and rage about what kind of relationships work and don’t work, rarely do these folks mention their own relationship status. These entries literally number in the thousands and yet they are all but silent about their own connections. I find this fascinating. Just to be fair, I am single, and have been in relationships in the past, for a total of 15 years.

Beginning The Coming Out Process

It is sometimes easy to forget that our community is diverse. We are comprised of individuals at different places in the coming out process. The coming out process is a remarkably individual thing and each of us will move through the experience in our own way. It is important to remember that each of us chooses the method of our coming out. For some people, this will be a relatively "easy" process while others will have a significant struggle.

An important tool is breaking through the isolation and shame of sexual orientation by sharing our personal story and listening to the stories of others. The public stories shared on the website as well as some of the emails I received highlight how important this is for many people. I'm moved by the amount of pain, fear, shame and guilt many people still struggle with in their process of coming out. I'm also moved by the courage expressed in the stories that can serve as inspiration to others.

Dating Bradford: Do You Party?

“Do you party?” He asked on the street where we met.

“Oh” I said, realization dawning as his attractive points plummeted, “No, I don’t, uhh, do drugs… anymore.” I threw in the “anymore” as a been-there-done-that type of thing to show I wasn’t just being puritanical. “Those messy days are over.” I emphasized “over” so he knew I wouldn’t be providing any party favors.

Hot Commodity: MJ04970

MJ04970
Burlington, Massachusetts, 21, 5'11", 160 lbs.

"I'm very honest and sometimes blunt so you'll pretty much always know what I'm thinking. I can also be very vulgar at times and I have a fun and outrageous sense of humor :) I don't bite and I'm obviously here to meet new people so don't be afraid to say hi."