Coming Out - It is All About You
Whenever some thinks about coming out there is always the fear on how people will react to your news. We skip over the whole fact that coming out isn’t about other people, it is all about you.
Coming out is the process of accepting your sexuality. You have to come to terms with who you are and it is not always an easy process for everyone. It wasn’t easy for me.
I was bullied in school and called a fag and a queer. I was taught in middle school that being gay was wrong. I was tired of people asking if I was gay. I was tired of telling them I wasn’t and having to defend myself. One day while having dinner with a good friend of mine she said, “Michael. I am not going to ask you if you are gay. I am telling you are gay.” I was shocked and so hurt. This direct statement brought me right back to being a kid again being teased. She might as well call me a fag but then she said, “Michael. I am your friend no matter what. I just want you to be OK with who you are.”
We never talked about that conversation for 3 days. During those 3 days, I thought about what she said. I was gay. I knew that but I was fighting it because I was told it was wrong. My friend wanted me to be happy and she was right but this would only come with me accepting who I was.
After those 3 days, I told her I was gay. She hugged me and said, “Congrats!” I would then of course tell my parents, family, and other friends allowing people to know something about me. Coming out wasn’t about them accepting me but about me accepting who I was and letting them know about it.
Coming out is not easy. We all have seen the movies, TV shows, read the books, and heard from friends the horror stories. We do not know what it will be like for ourselves until we do it. People do not always react the way we would like. We can not control how people react but we can learn to accept ourselves for who we are.
Coming out is about accepting yourself. This is where you start. You have to be comfortable with who you and proud of your life. You will decide if and when you will tell others and who you will tell. It all starts with you!
(Photo: Getty Images)
Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the LGBT community. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.
Do you have a question about how to improve your life? Send an e-mail to pnohealth@planetoutinc.com
Posted by Michael Moniz on June 23, 2009 in Life's Pleasures
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I'm really glad i found this post =) I know i will eventually come out, and it scares me to death! I fear everyone i know and care about will cast me aside like last weeks news paper. My parents are openly anti-gay as well as my siblings, and so are most of my friends, but after reading this post it doesn't matter to me what they think. If they do disown me or cast me out of there little social click, then they never really cared in the first place, and I'm better off without them. My own happiness is my top priority. I'll let the world conform to me!
Posted by: Ben B. | July 06, 2009 at 12:47 AM
wow i am also glad i fount his article
i think i am ready to come out now
the sooner i except myself the sooner i can go on with life
Posted by: Jose Reyes | July 07, 2009 at 02:25 AM
i just recently came out after being in a relationship with a women. it was werid at first but know that it has happened i am just happier and my family are happier for me, now comes to the facts of how do we get started once you realize you are what you are
Posted by: Shane C | July 30, 2009 at 02:18 PM