Survive Getting Laid Off

I know. The dreaded "L" word and I am not talking about the lesbian show that used to be Showtime. In this economy we are hearing more and more people are facing lay offs. I am sure you feel it everyday at work. The whispers, the rumors, the closed door meetings. You white knuckle it through out the day hoping it won't be you.

Unfortunately, sometimes it is you.

I am working with more and more clients who are facing this situation. It is not easy but you can make it through this. I am hoping these few tips will help you feel more comfortable (as much as you can) and confident about handling getting laid off and what to do next.

Accept Reality - The first step is always awareness. You could be laid off. It could happen to you. Accept this fact. Pretending or even hoping it is not you, won't make it easier if it is you. Understand this is a possibility that could occur.

You can have unprotected sex and pretend you won't catch a STD or hope you won't but we all know that is the best or healthiest outlook to have on the situation. Same goes for facing lay offs. Accept it could be you. It is better to be proactive than reactive.

Accepting this reality frees you from the stress. How? It allows you remove the shock as well as put a plan into motion. When you have a plan, you feel more confident when facing uncertainty.

Plan It Out - You know this was coming... You need a plan. If you are laid off what will you do? Sit down and set up a written plan on what you will do if you are brought into that office meeting with your boss and HR. It is great to have all the ideas in your head but when it happens, your head will be racing and not all your ideas will be clear as they once were. Writing the plan down means you can sit down and review it if you are laid off.

I like to have 2 parts to my plan. One is for during and one is for after. My during plan is a list of questions to ask my boss, HR, etc after I have been laid off. Questions like:

• What happens with my insurance?
• What services are you offering to support the transition?
• What happens to my vacation and sick time?
• When will I receive my last pay check?

The second part is the action plan on what will happen next for me. I sat down and made a list of all my expenses. Which were needed (electric, water, phone, car payment, etc) and which were nice to have (cable TV, lawn service, Mail DVD rentals, etc). This let me see exactly how much money I needed a month and where I could cut costs. You can look at your savings and see how that can play into your planning. With this in mind, you know now how you can plan out returning income into your life.

Figure out the next steps for your job search. Where could you look? Who could you contact? Is your resume up to date? Do you have a great interview outfit? Put together your professional side to be ready to hit the ground running if you are looking for another job in the future.

I know this is not fun but it is better to have a plan than to be sitting at home in your boxers staring blankly into the wall in shock while feeling overwhelmed. Having a plan helps you know what you need to do to move into action.

Do Something - You have your plan and you are working the plan. Now you spend your days waiting by the phone and checking your email hoping to find a response to one of your applications. Your days are filled with waiting and watching the View, Oprah and one of the THOUSAND court shows on TV. As time passes on, the more stressed and more down you feel.

You need to do something!

My friend called me when she got laid off. She was in tears and I talked with her as she was leaving work. I asked her what she was going to do now and she said go home to bed. She would face tomorrow with a new outlook. I asked her where she was and asked her to do me a favor and follow my directions. She did and ended up in the parking lot of the employment services of a local theme park. She asked, "What I am going to do here? They are not hiring for marketing." I said, "I know. You are going to walk in and say you will take any part time job they have."

She did and she loved it! Why? Because she was doing something. Not only was she making some income but her days will filled with fun. She spend a few hours a week somewhere besides interviews and home. They paid her to be outside, interact with people and get some sun.

Working part time gives you something to get out of bed for. It gets you out of the house and being with people. I know people who worked part time at their gyms so they wouldn't have to pay the monthly fee and still got to work out. I know people who worked part time in movie theaters because they always wanted to and they got to see tons of free movies.

Even if you can't find part time work, you can volunteer somewhere. Just do something besides waiting. The waiting will drain you and drained you isn't going to make a great interviewer.

Ask for Support - You do not have to do this alone. You have tons of people in your life who can help you out on your job search.

All those people on your Facebook. All those people you bought wedding gifts for, shower gifts for, baby gifts for, and birthday gifts for. All those people you went out drinking to celebrate their new jobs. All those people who care about you, laugh with you and want to help you.

Reach out to them.

Compose an email and let them know you were laid off and you are looking for work. Attach your resume while you are at it. You never know what could come from a friend of a friend. Nothing may happen but you will never know unless you reach out.

We forget that we do not have to do this alone. Sometimes it is our ego or pride that keeps us for asking for support. Remember, if they asked you, you would help. They just want to return the favor. Do not miss opportunities because you are afraid to ask. You are not begging, you are simply stating what is going on in your life and asking them to keep an eye out for you.

If you are someone who is laid off, remember there are people out there to help you. Career coaches, resume writing services, headhunters, and your past company may offer a lot of these services to you for free.

I want you to know that you will survive this. How do I know? Because people always do and so will you. 

(Photo: Getty Images)

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Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the LGBT community. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.

Do you have a question about how to improve your life? Send an e-mail to pnohealth@planetoutinc.com

Comments

[selfemployed]

I have been laid off 2 times in my career. The first time the company sold to another company, the 2nd time, the company folded. Everyone states you need enough cash to carry you at least 8 months. Unfortunately, there are a few of us that live beyond our means, have more debt up the wazoo than man dick, or are poor money managers. Making $x.xx per hour should dictate your spending so that you can save a little each week for the unfortunate time of being laid off. I learned this when I was in my 20's and when I was laid off, it didn't even phase me. In fact, after the 2nd lay off, I started my own company.

[C]

Don't forget to file for unemployment insurance (complements of FDR's New Deal) at your local department of labor and/or online.

[Lance]

if you're laid off, make SURE you check into unemployment. It's there for a reason, and it REALLY helps ease the stress.

[Stephen]

I was laid off in the first week of March. At 53 years old, I was making a comfy six-figure income. Now I am trying to live on unemployment and tapping into my IRA to survive until I get a new gig. It has been 2 months and my experience is that it's tough out there right now. Very competitive. I surely didn't expect this at this point in my life. The article has some excellent advice and I recommend all readers follow it to the best of their ability. I was caught off-guard.

This, too, shall pass ... just hope something comes along before the money runs out!

Networking is a key avenue for getting a foot in the door! It's smart to build links in your workplace and among peers and share emails, Facebook, etc. all through your working life ... I wish I had done a better job of it over the past 15 years!

As the weeks and months go by, it gets harder and harder to keep your chin up and stay positive.

[Arthur Graves]

Just had a friend get laid off. Luckie I told him about six months ago to start to cut back and SAVE BIG TIME and it has help him.He wa lucky. He lease was over a month after I talked to him so he move to a cheeper place. Has for going out he stop drink beers and drink and start drink Dite coke. It look like your drinking with out the price and most bar gave you one free refil.If you loss or get laid off PLEASE remember your pet's aren't something you can just dump on the side of the road like stright people do. Plan for them too. Talk to them tell them you got to buy cheeper food to save money to keep a roof over there heads too. Are pets aren't dum like stright people.

[Per l'ultima volta]

Arthur Graves--What are you talking about? "Dum stright people"? We all know some straight people who happen to be huge dicks, but please don't make prejudice comments like that. And if you do, don't make yourself look like such an idiot.

[Steven Pool]

As someone who was recently facing the dreaded "L" word, I can say it is not only nerve wracking but also has the ability to emotionally shred every aspect of yourself. The worst attitude you could have is the "They targeted me because I'm gay." attitude. I took that attitude and it ended up making me overly depressed about the situation. Always look at it as a positive possibility, look into your local unemployment laws and remember to make a good plan on what to do if it is you.
If you have pets, remember they are just as important as your significant other and that you can't just dump them off like trash. Plan on their well being by either stock piling on supplies for them or even using cheaper food. Talk to them, believe it or not they understand you more then you think.

[L]

I'm 24 and was laid off at the end of January. I was informed it would happen four months prior so I stopped spending unnecessary money - bars, clubs, movies, etc. Here I am four months later and I still have not found a job and have all my finances planned out to last me at least another three months. During this time I've been hunting for jobs in my area, most things are just slightly out of reach as far as qualifications go but I apply anyway. Don't give up hope cause its not the end of the world. I just find it sad that most jobs that can be found are "part time" or "temp work" and getting two part time jobs results in less pay than unemployment benefits...

[Kidd Kasper]

I'm about to go through my third lay off in life. The first two times were due to the companies being bought out. This time is due to the economy and our state attorney general (long story). At any rate, there's good advice in this article. The worst thing you can do is to let yourself remain depressed. In this economy, looking for work, one will get depressed. But, don't let yourself stay that way. DO SOMETHING as the article suggests. Also, people are going to have to be willing to do things that they wouldn't have dreamed of doing before. You might not like it for a while, but you might have to work at a crummy job in order to pay bills. But be willing to do it until you can find a better job.

[Alex]

First, my compliments to the author. Good article.
I may be the one sitting across that desk breaking the terrible news that you are to be laid off. Please keep these points in mind. You are not being laid off because you are an invaluable person. It is strictly a financial decision for survival of the company. Please do not take it personally. A vindictive attitude may cut the ties that would be beneficial later.
Ask if there is any way to aid you in procurring another job or if there is another position within the company that you may be qualified for. Usually a particular department is targeted and there may be an opportunity in another.
Leave with a good attitude. It is ok to show distress, its understood, but do not say how you have always hated the company. When the company is once again financially stable, there is a good chance you can come back. Stay in touch.
Before leaving, make personal contact with everyone you know within the company. They are the best and first networking contacts you have at the moment. People ARE sympathetic and will help if possible.
Go to personnel and speak with the director and express your availablility for any new position that may open. I have witnessed so many companies lay off one month only to turn around and hire the following month. It may be only your position that is being downsized.
As the article stated, go immediately to a headhunter, career coach, etc...believe it or not, the company is usually there to help you, but you have to ask.
There is so much good advice that some have made here. Looking for employment is a full time job. Hang in there.

[Nick]

I was laid off last Monday and I feel great. I can pack my knives and go! As an urban designer/planner I haven't had serious work to do in 2 1/2 years (directly tied to the housing industry). Not going into details why I stayed at the job, but this came as no big surprise. Took a 20% paycut in February, and adjusted my allowance accordingly (that's right, bitches, I give myself an allowance). I already started living as if I were unemployed to soften the blow. With no house, dependents, title to my car, little to no debt, and a decent inheritance, I can pack up and go anywhere in the country. I am very fortunate. However, it's the same lesson: always live within your means and save, even when times are good :). Well, have to log off and get off, hookup's coming in a few.

[zarxo]

There is a way that the HR can code bonuses and such whereas that can or cannot affect the first week of unemployement benefits that one will receieve (if it comes to that). Hopefully, if you are aware and "nice" to HR, they will be considerate, of you.

The tricks of the trade.

One can do an emergency of hardship borrow against a 401k, so probably easier to do that BEFORE exiting the company--something else to consider.

From my experience, all companies go through this anxiety stage just before the close. People get nasty, job descriptions become unclear,--and people are targeted as a precursor to being fired--they neeed a reason. Just remember, if someone does not like you, you will not survive the downsizing,and if they do not like you and want you TO GO; then you will be targeted, maybe indirectly, like an subordinate--they may not get you, but a subordinate may cause you enough grief, to be too visible; thefore, to be an easy target.

Just remember, if a company does not want you, they will get rid of you. Don't sweat it, stay focused, and begin to secure "life after lay-off" consider the "signs" or "red-flags" as enough time to be proactive. Fighting for a seat on a capsized ship just does not make sense, now does it? :)

Benedicite!

[Bobby Mac]

I once heard that you should do one thing each day when you got laid off. One thing towards getting a job. After 30 days, you would of done 30 things towards getting a job. Instead, I did two things. Example of stuff to do each day: return a call from a recruiter. Go on an interview (even though I did not want the job, I needed the practice). Post my resume. Call a head-hunter. Review the job posting boards to determine if I have skills for jobs that are posted. Don't be picky with the type of work, just get your foot in the door of your future employer. Once you have been hired, you can usually post to another job that interests you after 6 months. When the economy is down, the job at a brick and mortal company is more valuable than a consulting gig. Be willing to travel. Keep an open mind. Some employers don't advertise this, but once you are hired you might be able to telecommute - which helps if the job is distance from your home.