The Real Truth About The Leather Community

For the leather community, Memorial Day Weekend is one of the highlights of the year.  Thousands make the pilgrimage to Chicago to celebrate International Mr. Leather -- and yes, there is also an International Ms. Leather contest too! 

The leather and kink community tends to bring out a number of different reactions, from "Hell yes!!!" to "No way, no how, not on your life" and everything in between. Sometimes it is important to be aware of our initial reactions and temporarily suspend them to learn more. Life is about trying new things, and seeing what fits, like test driving a car.  Just like you use your seat belt when you test drive a car, learning about sexuality should be done with safety in mind. Not only about HIV/STIs, but also about physical and emotional safety.  Leather and kink sex is based on concepts of safer, sane and consensual.  Do things only with knowledgeable people you trust, and don't do anything under the influence of drugs/alcohol.   

Start small
I'm not saying this will be for everyone but exploring a variety of experiences can open your eyes to new things.  Work with your partner and use a bandanna to cover your eyes.  Pay attention to the sounds and smells. If you’re interested in restraints, before you run out for a pair of hand-cuffs, maybe tie your hands to the corners of the bed using tube socks.  If the experience gets too overwhelming, you can easily get out of the "restraints" and stop the encounter. Talk with your partner about what you liked and disliked.  If you find you like the small stuff, starting reading the Internet for instructions about more intense experiences. And again, be safe.  As the saying goes, try it...you may like it.        

IML provides an opportunity to look at why people like leather/kink. Some of the basic reasons people are involved in the leather community include:

Leather is about community
Within the community, there is a general acceptance of one another. While we can all admire a hot leather daddy, the community emphasizes acceptance of everyone. The narrow standards of the perfect body are thrown out the door. All are welcomed and celebrated. There is an instant camaraderie between leather guys.

Leather is about politics
The leather community is about radical celebration of our sexuality. Much like Stonewall and the drag community was a political statement, so too the leather community is a visible confrontation to the straight community about gay sexuality. It is a sex affirming, public statement in a world that shames and shuns sexuality.

Leather sex is about masculinity
The images evoked by the term “Leatherman” reflect a celebration and recognition of the masculine. In many cases, the celebration of the classic male symbols is a rejection of the stereotypes of what a “gay guy” is about.

Leather sex is about self-expression
Nothing shouts “this is who I am, deal with it” than a guy walking in leather. Whether you belong to the community or not, you definitely notice a guy in full leathers. Perhaps because of the diversity, the sub-groups in the leather community offer a range of expression of your sexual identity.  

Leather sex is about self-discovery
How much do you trust? Nothing says more about trust then trusting someone when you’re tied up.  Given the range of sub-groups, there is an ever-increasing ability to discover your limits, interests, likes and dislikes. This may be the most diverse group of people in the world since much of the alternative sexual community is linked under the heading of “leather.”

If you’re from the community, what do you like about leather? If you’re not, what questions do you have?

(Photos: Getty Images)

Comments

[RW]

Where do they get these "real truths" from?

This perspective of describing evrything as a "community" is simply taking license to generalize and sound like you are progressive and enlightened.

It isn't. It is just perpetuating more cliches.

Just like our enemies do...

[Hector]

I kind of agree. While I am very much attracted to leather men, their look, masculinity, etc., I also am more often than not uncomfortable in a majority Leather establishment because I am not into the kinkier side of leather. And people will always yell at me and say not all leather is about BDSM and Fetish, but try going in from the perspective of an outsider and see what you perceive.

Frankly, I don't think everyone has to be accepting of everyone else. I, for example, am not into scat or urine play, and I don't think I am going to be accepting it anytime soon just because it's politically correct to do so. All we need to do is let people live as they wish, and I hope I get the same consideration in return.

I do get turned on by the idea of a sexually free beautifully masculine man in leather. Or in a police uniform.

WOOF

[hotboxstud]

I agree with adam the gay clubs are full of men that just think they are all that " P.S I have never been to a leather bar" finding a nice guy is so hard when every one in the bar is BS what ever happend to being human.

[Victor J Kinzer]

Seriously R.W. what are you talking about? The fact is there is a leather community. We identify ourselves as a community. When someone slaps the community title on something from the outside then I would be inclined to agree with you. In the case of the kink and leather community though there are definitely circles we travel in. We all know each other (kind of creepily so actually), and we are always up for new people to come and join in. Take some time to get to know who you are talking about before commenting on them.

To hotboxstud: How can you comment on "everyone in the bar being BS" if you have never been to a leather bar? Being human is means living life and doing what fulfills us and helps us develop as human beings. Take some time to look into what the leather culture is all about, you might just find it does that.

[michael]

i am vegan and leather is to be wrong but damn i love leather i say till people stop eating cow my not where the skin? hot damn

[J]

What ever happend to being just a gay guy? Why do we have all these categories?

[Robert]

Im all for having the freedom to do what you want. I also have the freedom to make fun of whatever it is your doing (especially if it's in public).

But the leather/kink crowd is weird. They think getting fisted is progressive but getting made fun of for it is repressive. I don't get it.

They cloak themselves in high priest garments and go on and on about how special and different they are.
As if somehow your more evolved than the rest of us because you play skanky toilets in bizarre psychosexual dramas. Please.
Weighted down with all your chains, straps and chaps, its amazing how easily they get up on their high horse.
You can tell us what turns you on but we cant tell you what turns us off? What, everyone can do as they please as long as they agree with you?

[servant_36]

funny, I've been into LEATHER n S/M n fetish for god knows half my life, and I'm also transgendered. All I found at leather gay outlets n businesses is that TG and cross dressers ain't welcome, cause these guys want "real men".

Just like the rainbow flag, it's a bunch of bullshit.

[Homohirsutus]

You are kidding me right. Havent you ever been to IML? Those leather Primadonnas are not about leather, they are all about S&M. STAND & MODEL. For every one down to earth guy with a personality there are 3 bitchy leather queens whith more attitude than a stereotypical drag quuen. But I still go, because at least I am one of the down to earth guys, and if I get drunk enough I can weed out the trash and usually find a nice guy or two.

[althradmirer]

It all sounds good but a lot of members don't live up to these high standards. They discriminate based on age, size etc.

[Dreamer_In_AR]

I'm not involved with this community though I do think it's certainly hot. What just dawned on me however is that there are only two places where we see the exact same types of attitudes towards sexuality being expressed simultaneously i.e. the leather community and in pagan expressions of the Divine Wild God, Horned God or Pan. He has many more names. What initially brought me to this conclusion was the observation that both seemingly wear leather (to one degree or less) and both are extremely sexually liberated. Food for thought.

[Laun]

I appreciate the helpful charater those friendly folks showed, they are an example to everyone. I can accept people in leather, maybe not a harch lifesyle. That's not any of my business. I just want folks to accept others that don't necessarily wear that much leather, there are all sort of varied types. Please, be kind and just accept people as they are.

[Adrian L]

The Leather "community" may be more expressive in their sexual appetites, I am just not sure that it raises them above the crowd as a all inclusive group of men and women. I have participated in the leather scene to a certain degree though I refuse to be submissive and slave like to make my partner feel empowered; nor do I need to display my feelings of inadequacy by expressing a desire to overpower someone else. I use the love in my heart and the act of making love to empower him. I stand behind his dreams and desires. I support his goals and ambitions and look forward to him doing the same for me. Leather is a skin we make clothes and furniture out, of leather is used to make my shoes. Leather is used to hold up my pants. Leather is not what makes the man, the man makes the man! Get over yourselves and get a life the fact that there is a contest to see who wears it best makes me laugh. Though I do like a man who can wear leather without looking like a douche It isn't a precondition of my love and respect.

[servant_36]

never been to IML, would rather hit the san fran folsom fetish fair. more diverse there.

[corrective_unconscious]

I don't think PETA is going to like this crowd! Meeeooow!

[g]

there tends to be a lot more camaraderie with leather men...

it seems the hotter and the tighter your body is there more you don't seem real.

[agreed]

I completely agree. While the leather/rubber/SM scene likes to tout diversity, it is one of the most clique-y gay communities out there. If you don't have 5% body fat, are under 26, flattoped, and a whore, don't dare try to have with the Chicago puppy contingency. If you are not in the military, don't try to hang with the leather braggarts there. If you are not an empty latex gymhead, well, forget being accepted by them. Bears aren't shaved, and slaves aren't clothed. The leather scene is one of the most image-over-substance scenes out there. As bad as anything Madison Ave can dupe the consuming public with. I have been in it for 20 years and find every few genuine people in it at this point.

[bobby]

To althradmirer
with your comment
"It all sounds good but a lot of members don't live up to these high standards. They discriminate based on age, size etc."
wtf, you have no right to say that, its not discrimination if a person isn't attracted to you becuz you're too old or tall. people have different attractions toward people.

Seriously though, at least from the pics all i see is half naked men running across the street and from most comments, apparently thats all the matters

also to victor
while there may obviously be a gay community, there are a lot of subdivisions within it that dont support the other barbaric groups

yes, i'm an ass, dont bother telling me, but this is the crap why we dont have equal rights. but from reading the top also,
"Leather sex is about self-expression
Nothing shouts “this is who I am, deal with it” than a guy walking in leather."
seriously, the leather community is just a fashion trend and personally a joke. so far it seems that everyone wants special rights, soon we'll be given free leather, that really beats equal rights. I mean as long as were in leather and get to have sex, were perfectly good. for idiots this was sarcasm.

but seriously, wear leather if you must, just dont go parading around like the pictures above, its disgraceful.

seriously

[goatguy]

For me, being gay is all about men -- masculine men. As a masculine guy myself, I am very into other real men. From a visual perspective, leathermen are my people. Leathermen are made up of all kinds of dudes -- some much more to my taste than others. By and large I find it to be a fun bunch of men whether it is the young muscle boys posing / modeling (I was once one) or butch bears, they all represent masculinity in one form or another. Also they are doing what they want and living their lives their way regardless of str8 life pressures.
Cheers for the leather community!

[Philly Ray]

Cheers for the leather community. Come find me daddy!

[Green Faerie]

Love you my brothers in leather..... but

I'm femme and I'm proud of who i am. as you denogradingly put it "as a Gay Guy". I thought you accepted All, guess the hypocracy runs over your head when your trying to gain more members.
Look, love who you love. Love your self. and express, but don't isolate the femmes who will kick ass for You harder than you can.

[Arthur Graves]

Unlike Gay.Com we like guys of all type.On Gay.com If it not skinny and look like a gym rat and smooth they will not put them on the Home page.

[Johnster]

Wow...What people do not realize here is that the "leather community" is exactly that, a community. What I miss from the leather community is that real men worried about others in the community. Every other "gay" community only worries about themselves. That's not to say that there aren't poser's in the leather community. Gym fags that move to the leather community are not family, they are posers in any community. A true leather person does not care what you're into. A true leather person cares about that you're confident in what you like sexually.

[K]

At first when I read gay.com's tagline that said the leather community finds everyone sexy, I thought "is that good?" Then I realized how stupid what I thought sounded. Good job leather community.

[tom]

LEATHER IS ABOUT BEING MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY RETARDED INTO A STEREOTYPE AND A LABEL.

ITS A CULTURE OF DEATH NOT LIFE!

ITS A CULTURE BASED ON SEX AND SEXUALITY RATHER THAN RELATIONSHIPS AND HUMANITY.

AS ANDREW SULLIVAN WOULD SAY, TRUE GAY LIBERATION IS THE FREEDOM TO BE ORDINARY....ITS UNFORTUNATE THAT AFTER DECADES OF GENOCIDE THRU THESE STEREOTYPES...WE ARE STILL PERPETUATING THEM.

[Eric]

I've been part of the leather "community" for 8 years and, just like any other segment of the gay population, it's got it good and bad sides. From the foolishness of dress up fashion contests to the flat out hypocrisy of being "all inclusive" (ie, you can belong so long as you act and dress and have sex just as we say you should), the leather community falls severely short of being anything close to what the author of the article describes. The gay leather community is as shallow as it comes folks and the gay men use cow hide to mask their insecurities about their own masculinity. Can you imagine a "community" who's foundation is based upon the imagination of a erotic artist? Talk about false pride. If leatherfolk are soooooo proud of who and what they are about, then why don't they show up to work, at their nephews's first birthday or holiday dinners with Grandma in their cop uniforms, open ass chaps and and bar vest that are 50 times to small just so they can show off their nipples? It's a farce in most cases and moreover, it's a business first and foremost. Just ask the owners of the IML contest who get filthy stinking rich off the backs of the men who pay outrageous money for a weekend in Chicago.

[brontomancer]

Well said, Eric.

[Greg M]

I agree with both Bobbys and/or Roberts in here, not to contradict myself.
Are you kidding me?
Some Fems should not be into leather & want to top me.
That is more funny than it is insulting to me.
Anyone who is too much into any type of one scene or another is insecure with their identity crisis with lack of self acceptance.
This is just my opinion without judgment from my experience most if not almost all of the leather queens that have blessed me with their presence.
The sexual practices of the leather goers are lacking in the expression of individual creativity and mostly deals with the lesser of sharing mutual gratification & mostly just to get themselves off only satisfying their own purpose.
I've hung out @ a couple of leather bars before & some guys seemed really cool just like any other gay bar scene.
The last time I went to a leather bar, a nice looking seemingly nice MAN bought me a beer.
Later near the piss troff, him & one of his ugly friends cornered be & tried to push & do me in a bathroom stall.
Of course I got out of that somehow, & he said go back to your girlie disco pretty boy.
I am not ugly, but I am not the prettiest thang on the planet either, but I basically said I am not as cheap as some beer whore & will not be left in the dark.
Why are leather bars always so dark.
What are you hiding?
Some strap to hold it up until it disfunctionally falls off?

[Steve]

Great!