Are You Ready?

As I write these articles, I always wonder will they be ready for this?

I receive comments where people hate what I have to say. They think it is all crazy and makes no sense. Some think the information is not practical and there is no way it would ever work. Others believe our community is not able to move past the stereotypes, the superficial nature or the mean and cruel attitudes. Reading some of the comments I would almost agree. :)

I wonder if I am wasting my time trying to make a difference and support a community who doesn't want it. Who fails to see they are truly in control of their lives or can't let go of their past to just admit that change is needed. That we have to move out of our comfort zones and sometimes face who we really are. It can be scary.

We may not like what we see...

But beyond the few negative comments which surface, there are tons of comments and emails from people wanting more. Not more of my writing but more in their lives. They want to be happier than they are. They want to achieve their goals and dreams. They simply want more in life and they are not settling for anything less.

What is the difference in these two groups of people? One is ready for change.

The first step in being ready for change is believing change can occur. You have to know in your heart as well as your head you can do it. It is not a guess or a wish but you truly KNOW you can do it. This is all about commitment.

We see this a lot with dieting. Why do some people succeed while others fail? Commitment. When you truly believe you can do something, you will go after it no matter what. When you are just on the fence, it is so easy to fall back to your old habits. 

The next step in being ready for change is accepting it. Accepting that even though it will be hard and a journey (not a quick fix) you would rather have what is better than settle for what is.

One of my clients was tired of going clubbing every weekend. He tried to get his "friends" to do something else but the club was where he ended up every night. Finally he had to accept to make the change in his life, he would have to let go of his club friends and make new friends who wanted the same thing. He didn't know if he would make new friends or where to find them BUT he accepted the fact he had to make a change if he wanted more. He got MORE. 

Next step is to take responsibility for yourself. If you don't like your life, you are the only one who can change it. If you don't like how people see you, then you have to change it. It is all up to you. NO ONE can do it for you.

It's so easy to tell me how this isn't possible because of society, friends, the gay community, etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Keep blaming other people if that makes you feel better. I can only ask you, "How is that working for you?"

When you are ready to give up the excuses and take responsibility for your life, that is when you will make the changes to live the life you want. Trust me, the moment you do this, people will step out of your way! :)

Lastly you have to be willing to be vulnerable and take risks. Whenever you make a choice or decision in life, you have a 50% chance it will succeed. This also means you have a 50% chance it will fail. A lot of people would rather stay where they are because it is comfortable and safe. For some of us, it is worth the risk. 50% are good odds that things will work out. If not, it is a lesson learned which just increases your odds for succeeding next time. Life is not a sure bet EVER. You have to be willing to play the odds if you want more!

Sure there are tons more I could talk about making changes in your life but this is a good beginning to get you a jump start in the right direction. Some of you already know this and are moving forward. Some of you will love the ideas and put them into action. While others of you will think it is silly and ignore it after you read it.

Either way, it is your life and I want you to live it the best you can. As long as you are happy then I am happy for you. If you are not happy please ask yourself, "are you ready to make a change?"

(Photo: Getty Images)

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Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the LGBT community. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.

Do you have a question about how to improve your life? Send an e-mail to pnohealth@planetoutinc.com

Comments

[Issac]

I really liked this article !!

[Adam]

Nice article.

Is it my imagination or are people just getting more and more vicious? The majority of comments I see on this and other sites tend to be extremely nasty, full of hate, and just plain rude.

What is happening with people that they would want to do and say such things?

Anyway, I thought this was a great article and hope many people read it.

[david]

I think your article is great! you do have to step out side the box, leave things behind, change your friends and move on, yes its scary but thr results are awsome! i was in a relationship for 15 yrs. he passed away, i took the time to get to know me, likes and dislikes, i went about it slowly, i changed almost every thing including friends, it was the wisest thing i've done!

[Malfist]

You have a point And I agree with you. I've worked with my local GSA as an officer and came up against this arguement quiet often. However statistics don't work that way.

[ZhangMinghong]

改变是好的,I am ready.
I am a Chinese, I have been longing for a foreign country where I think a very open, but I also love my hometown.