Living Life Out Loud

My whole life coaching practice is based on supporting people to live their lives out loud. It is all about creating the life you have always wanted to live instead of just dreaming one day it will happen or keep putting it off until later.

We all assume we have a future but unfortunately, that is not the case. There is no guarantee what will happen past today. All we really know is that we have the present to live our lives and make them the best that we can.

Of course, I want us all to believe there is a future and be responsible in planning for it but we can not live our whole life based on the future. We have to base our life on the here and now. How many times have you wished you would have taken that opportunity? How many times have you wished you had said something different? How many times have you wished you could get back some of the time you have wasted?

You can make a change today! You can decide to start living your life! How do you do that? Well here are 10 tips to allow you to live in the present and create a happier life for yourself NOW!

1. Dream - How do you know what you want in life if you don't take the opportunity to really dwell on all the possibilities? Take time once a week to just lay down with your eyes close and dream about what you want your life to be like. You only need 10 to 15 minutes. Just pick a specific part of your life and let your mind wonder.
2. Stop the drama - Drama is a nice word for stress. Even if you think it is fun, your body is still feeling stress inside. Stress leads to added to pressure to your life you do not need. That pressure produces wrinkles and seeing those wrinkles will produce more stress. Next thing you know you are dealing with high blood pressure and many other health issues that can occur. Learn to let go of drama. It is not worth it!
3. Hold yourself accountable - Stop expecting others to hold your hand. YOU need to hold yourself accountable for your actions, choices and decisions. It wasn't your friends who held you down and made you drink 5 tequila shots the night before. YOU did it. It also wasn't your family who insisted you eat the whole box of Girl Scout cookies when you were trying to eat healthier. It was YOU. Learn to be tough on yourself when you set a goal and stick to it.
4. Learn to say NO - We do not use this word enough. We always end up agreeing to do more at work, with friends or for our families. Learn to think about things and say no when we really mean it. Free yourself from all the obligations you get yourself into. Keep yourself from overdoing.
5. Laugh too much - We never laugh enough. As we get older, it has been shown we laugh 1/4 of the time we did when we were kids. Do you remember being a kid? We were so happy! Don't hold yourself back and learn to laugh again. Sometimes we just take life too seriously when we need to be laughing at ourselves more. It makes everything seem so much better when we are laughing!
6. Stop waiting for perfect - We spend so much time not doing something because we wait until it is perfect. We never take that trip to Mexico because we didn't save enough, our schedules keep filling up and the weather never seems right. Let go of perfect because life was never meant to be perfect. When you free yourself of waiting for the perfect man, perfect day, perfect job, or perfect life, you start creating the life you wanted now. All of the sudden you see it for what it is and not what it could be in some far of land called make believe.
7. Be honest - Life is so much easier when are just honest. You never have to worry about remembering the lies you have told. Hold yourself to telling the truth. I am not saying you need to be rude but just stop the lies. The more you tell the truth, the more others will tell you the truth.
8. Simplify your life - I could write a whole article on this. Do you really need 5 calendars to keep track off? Do you really need 5 electronic devices to check your email? Learn how to make life simple. We are always trying to be busy all the time instead of enjoying the time we have. Look at your life and see what you can do to reduce the "noise" and allow yourself the space to be living your life instead of letting it run away from you. 
9. Achieve goals - If you noticed, I didn't suggest you set goals. I want you to achieve them. Your life doesn't change when you set a goal. It only changes when you achieve it. Set goals you really want in life and go after them wholeheartedly. Don't overwhelm yourself with tons of goals either. One goal at a time allows you to focus and achieve results.
10. Have fun - Life is too short not to have fun. If you want to have a ice cream sundae, then have one. If you want to hook up with the hot guy at the party, play safe and do it! You should have fun in your life and live it without regrets. Life should not be work! You also do not have to be good all the time. You just have to make sure there is a balance. Tipping your life too much either way, creates problems. Learn to set boundaries and have fun!

Those are my 10 tips I suggest for living your life out loud. These should help you get the most of your life and to live in the present. But this is not a complete list, there are many, many more we could add. I know you have tons of ideas how to live your life out loud, please share them in the comments below!

Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the LGBT community. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.

Do you have a question about how to improve your life? Send an e-mail to pnohealth@planetoutinc.com

Comments

[the_real_sweedie]

That's some nice advice there, I really need to learn from some of them. Especially number 2 and 6.

[henry dalapaz]

i enjoyed reading your list. it gave me such insight and motivation. thanks

[zarxo]

An actually great article, thank you!

There is a reason why people laugh less as they get older.

1. To not be targets of people who exploit people.

2. In many busineses, constant cheer may be considered immature.

--be a closet laugher! ;), or like me, whistle outloud. Do you know how many people are intriquired to see a guy whistle a jolly tune!

Ownership is a good way to see one's life. Regardless of the outward circumstances, we are fully responsible for our own state of affairs. If we got dupped then we failed to "think it through."

Regading stress, this is true, Socrates called this hedonistic calculus--the wearing down of the soul--through one's life by living and exeperiencing your life by means to gauge it by "feeling" "pain and pleausure" as tools for navigating your own life.

We feel with our heart and body, but how many learn to "feel with the mind?"

It is my speculation that the physical brain works in a 1-to-1 correspondence with consciousness.

We only see and live 18% of physical light sensory matter, the rest remains untold and for now, untappable.

You could be what you don't see.

[Bubbie]

so true, I completely agree.
Lord knows I need to take some of that advise and use it!

I already have the simple life and Im not into big flashy electronics or big flashy cars. Just have what I need and this laptop! haha

Its AMAZING the relief, the feeling of pride you get when you minimize your life, get rid of stress, let go of having a bigger house, or more expensive things just to impress other people.
Get humble, cut up the credit cards, get a cheaper house, a cheaper car or truck and just Live as care free as you can get.

It helped me so much.

especially dropping the draining people in my life and setting boundaries.
those 2 things helped more than anything.

[blah2323]

This author sounds like a selfish idiot teenager with his suggestions...I can't believe he actually makes a career out of this bs...

[Sam]

I have the most problems with 3, 6, and 9. However I already do all the other steps. But 3, 6, 9 are definitely what's holding me back.

[Jos]

merci beaucoup. xxx

[tj]

Well, unfortunately you lost most everyone in the gay community and gay.com with only the second tip: "Stop the drama."

[timbo]

I'm a recovering addict and this self help crap really does work. I never believed in it until I sought true change. After awhile it just becomes second nature and your life dosen't suck anymore. It's also helped me to simplify my life financially.

[JRM]

I'm a licensed professional counselor. What gags me about "self-help" crap like this is that any idiot can become a self-proclaimed Life Coach and make money deceiving naive, vulnerable people who will believe anything to avoid suffering. This kind of worthless charlatanism is--paradoxically--harmful! To those of us who actually bust our asses getting degrees and licenses after many years of schooling and training, harming others is repugnant. I'd like to see a follow-up report in about a year or so, from people who actually are silly enough to take this "advice". Where will you be? And who will you blame for giving you false hope?

[Jeff]

The article would be much more helpful if there weren't so many grammatical errors making it difficult to follow.

[tdstree]

Responding to JRM's observations: why are these suggestions "worthless charlatanism"? They may be a bit oversimplified and lacking in addressing the psychology behind why we can't say no, revel in drama, seek material satisfaction, etc. But as basic "Self-Improvement 101" suggestions, they hardly seem harmful. Actually, they're really kind of nuts-and-bolts, common sense suggestions, don't you think?

[JRM]

Responding in turn to tdstree....No, I do NOT think so. False hope is indeed harmful. It gives one a distorted view of the future; leads to guilt, shame, and depression; and once again, invalidates the efforts of true, educated, and licensed professionals trained to deal with serious issues. Life problems are not always solved by simple solutions. If you think so, why don't you try a good ole' fashioned home remedy of turpentine, molasses, and sugar next time you have a cough or a bad cold. No, I think you're going to reach for some medication that a physician has developed rather than something the old hedge witch down the street concocted in her rundown shack.

[Dan]

This article is great, and Michael Moniz is adorable!

[lol]

Michael Moniz
thank you for the advice
to everyone who keeps putting it down and playing the im better than you becuase i went to school get over urself and to JEFF DORK! can you follow that lol

[Lance]

I think a number 11 should've been added under the headline 'respect yourself'

[greg randall]

i hate my life since 13 teased as gay with no sex till i was 48 with no friends a nd a devil to family hard living life alone

[Mathew]

I'm not trying to come across negative, but a lot of what this article is about is simply "common sense." I really wonder what credentials and experience you need to become a "life coach." I've checked my local university, and they don't offer degrees for "life coaching." I also checked the author's personal web page and the prof. bio has no link, and the 100 things about me and 150 more things about me both come up as "page not found."
I'm not necessarily bashing the author, but I would prefer to take advice from someone who is much older and has had far more experiences that are easily verifiable.
Sometimes common sense can come across as "highly informative" and I think we forget that sometimes between those emails and cell phone calls. That's my two cents, thanks for reading. ---Mathew.

[oldkingtroll]

JRM doth protest too much. A life coach is like a "bro" or the bartender at your fave neighborhood bar. He tells normally-functioning people the stuff they need to hear cause "someone" has to tell em that.

Lots of folk I know would see their lives improve a whole lot if they followed this list of 10 things. And they would not need psychotherapy.

Once, my family got down on one of my brothers cause he was doing something nutty that he'd wanted to do his whole life. Guaranteed he would fail; but still he tried. I kept telling 'em: it's better to have a dream than not; and it's better to pursue your dream than not. Superficial, you bet. But also true in a more than superficial way. [Brother did fail, but seems more at peace since he tried.]

By the way, honey does help stifle a cough. So some old fashioned remedies can help for many everyday hassles.

[George W. Bush]

This guy is full of shit.

[Dave]

Regarding JRM's observations: Okay, so you're a professional counselor. And you busted your ass for years to study and train... in a place where they apparently teach you that other people's views are "crap," and people who you don't agree with or approve of are "idiots." Good show! Keep lording your superiority over others with an egotistical iron fist... I'm sure that approach will win you some "Counselor of the Year" plaques for your wall at some point...

[Nathan]

This article made me feel good on a day I really needed it. Thank you very much for a smile :)

[Jeff]

lol- Apparently you didn't pay attention in school either.

[enforcer]

It's all so simple when written out. I have the most problems with 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10. Odd that it is all the even numbers. Just have to take them one day at a time.

[TheLordofWales]

Instead of seeing Mr. Moniz as "too young," "too inexperienced," "too simplistic," or "too dangerous" let's look at him like Jesus.

We honestly don't even have to believe that Mr. Moniz exists for the message to be effective. We don't have to glam him up with tales that he cured the sick either.

I'd recommend you STOP WAITING FOR PERFECT (suggestion #6). This guy isn't perfect and even if perfect came along, the cynic STILL would find reason to not accept it.

And HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE (suggestion #3). Glean what you can from his words. Gay.com articles are not so off the deep end that they're going to send someone else off the deep end.
Saying that this person's words are hurting other people infringes upon someone else's freedom to receive information. It also justifies to the person doing the accusing why they do not have to listen.

Read the article.
Glean something for yourself.
Move onto the next click of your mouse.
This is the best way to STOP THE DRAMA (suggestion #2).