"How are you going to stop HIV?"

Last week, Gay.com ran a short little post titled “Why Do Young Guys Get HIV/AIDS?”  Here’s the post, in its entirety:

“Gay New Yorkers under 30 are turning HIV-positive in “sharply” higher numbers lately.  With an abundance of information available, events advocating HIV awareness, like the Life Ball pictured above, and protection widely available, why are young gays’ seroconversions going up?

You tell us!  Are young gay men just making bad choices or are there other contributing factors?”

This little post generated almost 500 comments, ranging from stories about how people became HIV positive themselves, to ideas about how to stop the new jump in conversions, to outright (and grossly misplaced) anger at Gay.com for posting on the subject.

Before I ask the question posed in the title of this post, I think that it is time for a little history lesson.  Bringing up facts about a rise in HIV conversions is a GOOD thing, folks, as education is a GOOD thing when it comes to fighting HIV/AIDS.  This was learned the brutally hard way in the ‘80s, by those of us lucky enough to have lived through that nightmare.

I am HIV positive – actually, I have AIDS.  I recently left a position as executive director of a group here in Chicago that provided HIV/AIDS education to school kids, mostly kids in minority communities.  The rise of HIV infection is on the increase in minority communities as well.  Does bringing this fact up make me wrong? 

Or, as I believe, does the fact that Gay.com brings up these facts serve as a wake-up call to our communities to ask ourselves, point blank: "What am I doing to fight the increased spread of HIV in my community?"

Let’s talk about that, folks.  I -- and, I think, a whole lot of other people -- would like to hear ideas about what we are doing around this issue.  In the 1980s, we had to fight on several fronts -- education of ourselves and education of our government, which seemed hell bent on ignoring this crisis.  Well, we won a lot of victories, mostly through education and talking about it.  I, for one, ain’t gonna sit around and not talk about it again.  So, let’s talk about it! 

What are YOU doing in your community to fight the resurgent spread of HIV?

(Photo: Getty Images)

Comments

[BrodyR]

I read your previous blog and also read the comments that followed, and I as well saw a lot of unnecessary anger towards it. I'm still young, I've only ever had 2 sexual partners (both virgins) and I used condoms both times. It isn't that complicated. Why does it seem so hard for our community to NOT FUCK EVERYTHING THAT MOVES WHERE IT STANDS?!? Why is our sexual orientation seem so god damned preoccupied on getting laid as much as possible, no matter the place or the situation? Is it because we don't worry so much about protection because there's no risk of pregnancy? Is it because we think "oh, it won't happen to me, the odds are slim"? Or is it simply just because we've all lost our heads?

I'd go with the last option. I live in residences at University. I rarely drink, thus I usually try and look after my drunk floor mates. When some of them drunkenly bring randoms home, I ask them "do you have a condom?" and if they don't, I always have some in my pocket. Usually the person they're with gets indignant, but I say to them "This is for your own protection to. Don't be a dumbass." IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO DO.

And we CERTAINLY can't say it's a lack of education now. It was damned torturous going through middle school Health class. It was the same, every year. "When you have unprotected sex, you can get... *names off multitudes of STIs*" So WHAT, pray tell, is your excuse for unprotected sex? You ask your partner? He tells you he's clean? Well, my friends, it's a little thing called lying. People love doing it, ESPECIALLY when their going to get laid. It's extremely naive to think otherwise.

So, time to smarten up.
Haha, who the hell am I kidding. None of you are going to listen to a 19 year old kid in 2nd year university tell you how to run your sex life. Well, I'll tell you this. When your laying in that hospital bed at age 29 or 35, dying, because you caught a simple cold, but your body was not able to create the antibodies necessary, I bet you will really wish you had made that guy you hooked up with 10 years earlier wrap his beautiful cock. But hey, what do I know? I'm only a 19 year old kid who has no clue about the ways of the world. It's your life. Just don't drag other people down with you.

[joey]

I think the main reason young guys dont use condoms is that fact that we know medicine has been developed and for the most part works and therefore are willing to take the risks.

[Doug]

Well Brody, you may be only 19, but you are wise beyond your years. I tell people who engage in risky behavior that if they are not part of the solution, then they are part of the problem.

Joe, I agree with you 100%. I too, do not understand the anger that is aroused in people when this subject is broached. Using a condom is such a simple thing, it's the right thing to do, it's the sensible thing to do. Condoms are PROVEN to reduce the rate of new infections. So what is the problem?

HIV/AIDS is treatable yes... but my profession is healthcare, and let me tell you, if you get it, it changes your life...forever. The meds that are available are doing a wonderful job but the virus mutates, it becomes resistant, and then it becomes a huge juggling act for medical practitioners to adjust medication so that it's effective and keeps viral loads down. Eventually, they just stop working. I've taken care of dying men with AIDS, and it's heartbreaking.

All this because you can't use a condom? I wish I could flash you forward in time and then ask the question "Was it worth it?". It's time we all started thinking with our larger head, the one that contains neural tissue. It's a simple thing, and the results are proven and dramatic. Please? Be honest with your partners, be safe, and lets all live great lives.

[Rick]

My anger at GAY.COM was not at posting a story about AIDS. My anger was at how gay.com chat rooms encourage gay men to be sluts, cheat on their partners/spouses and then run stories about how awful HIV is. In short, GAY.COM makes its money encouraging promiscuity and then cries about how awful AIDS is.

[Rick]

My anger at GAY.COM was not at posting a story about AIDS. My anger was at how gay.com chat rooms encourage gay men to be sluts, cheat on their partners/spouses and then run stories about how awful HIV is. In short, GAY.COM makes its money encouraging promiscuity and then cries about how awful AIDS is.

[k]

>My anger was at how gay.com chat rooms encourage gay men to be sluts, cheat on their partners/spouses and then run stories about how awful HIV is. In short, GAY.COM makes its money encouraging promiscuity and then cries about how awful AIDS is.<

I am of two minds about this. One is, gay.com is just something that exists on the internet. It doesn't hold a gun to someone's head and tell them to have sex with anyone and everyone. But, I also remembered that gay.com has a special section for barebacking. If gay.com was really serious about hiv prevention, why does it have a barebacking room?

[Eric]

So lets see can we blame the Mormans, the right wingers etc etc- No we can only blame ourselves- just check out the ads that people post asking for BB etc etc- We need to clean our own house before attacking others.

[Jason P]

I AGREE that gay.com promotes being a slut. its obviously all over the site. porn ad's and such Promiscuity is a FACT among gay men. we ALL know this.
I have always limited my involvement in the gay community, I pick and choose friends and I DONT sleep around!
Thats the #1 reason hands down. STOP BEING A SLUT!
I have no pity for anyone this day in age who knowingly has unsafe sex as dangerous as it is.
Its their own damned fault.
so, what am I doing?
I'm not sleeping around, Im not exposing myself to people, places or things that would plant a seed in my mind that doesnt need to be there!

[Elliott]

How about getting rid of the bareback chatroom?

[Steve]

Well that was a hypocritical article if ever I read one. "Stop HIV, but come to our bareback chat room" My partner told me the other day that the bareback chat room always has the most people.

[David]

I posted a response to the other story, but someone removed it because I was a tad too honest.

So here is a cleaner version.

As long as the majority of HIV infections are among the gays, minorities, and the poor, NOTHING, and I do mean nothing will be done to stop it's spread. Those in power around the world could care less if some street person, or the lesser life forms, gays get HIV. It's just a means to rid themselves of "those" people.

Wake the fuck up! Nobody gives a shit about you. Nobody ever has. All those cute little charity events are just a way for the wealthy to dress up and act like they did something to help. It's not like any of them are out on the streets trying to get the runaways and the homeless into stable housing. None of them will actually get their hands dirty.
And here's a little fact for you.....they may raise several hundred thousand at those fancy dress events, but how much do you think actually get donated after expenses.

You want to change the world? Put down the coke straw and run for office.

[Safer -- that's all]

I am happy with my effort. I'm not doing anything to stop HIV other than never having unprotected sex. I treat all sex partners as though s/he definitely already has it -- that keeps me lucid and aware in those moments when most guys would just say forget the rubber -- and I take this approach because I know people who actively and secretly spread it. Sad, but true.

[Patrick]

Let me see if I understand this correctly...HIV+ men are stupid sluts, who do not know how to use their brain matter, and do not deserve any sympathy. Oh gee, I can't imagine why people would be angry over a story like this.

Tell you what I am going to do, I am going to educate with COMPASSION. Whoa! A ten dollar word seldomly used by the gay community. Telling someone they are a dumbass or a slut ain't gonna cut it.

As an HIV+ man, I am sickened by how much everyone is an "expert" about every HIV case. In the gay community, HIV+ people are labeled, stereotyped, and ostracized. Try for one minute to see it from the other side. Am I proud of my status? Certainly not! If given the chance to go back and change it, I would do it without hesitation. I know there are several HIV+ people who feel the same way.

The gay community is so angered by the world labeling all of us as "limp wristed, screaming queens". Don't generalize if you don't know.

[Ervin]

People just need to be smart about having "SAFER" SEX. It's not just safe sex because any sexual act could be a risk of some sort. People need to communicate more and be smart about who they sleep with. People need to warp up all the time. Partners need to stay committed to each other.

Pointing fingers and blaming someone or a site about HIV/AIDS is not going to solve the problem...you are just wasting time..when you could be figuring out what to do about HIV/AIDS. Blaming gay.com, manhunt.net, adam4adam, and others is not going to solve the problem. Because 9/10...you are still using the sites anyway. There is more to Gay.com then just hooking up with guys...that's is why I like it.

BE SAFE. BE SMART.

[Jonathan]

Hi Patrick. I agree with you - compassion is so important within our community. It continues to amaze me that so many of us have spent our entire lives being ostracized and judged by straight people, only to turn around and do the same thing to other gay men - because we all have this need to feel better than someone else. Since gay men are at the lowest end of the totem pole, we can't hurt anyone but each other. And we do a great job of it. HIV, suicide, addictions, we give each other lots of reasons to feel like our lives aren't worth anything. And that is where the problem lies. How do you solve a crisis within a community that needs each other in order to succeed at relationships, but it's also that same community that has damaged it's members self-esteem and self-worth before they've developed the skills to build theirs up first?

Every time we patronize a gay owned business, every time we sign on to a gay website, every time we watch gay porn; anything that has to do with selling an image to gay men - chips away even more at our self worth because its obvious that even gay businesspeople are embarrassed to look at their own community. They hire 20 year old heterosexual college male athletes to model for their products because the theme to being a gay man is 'I want everything right now because I have the education, the money, and the means to afford the very best.' Because we are not known for being a community that suffers financially, we also are a community that doesn't need each other for support.

That's why today (versus a dozen years ago) most of us are fighting this fight by ourselves. What gay community? We are so socially lost that we don't even know how to have a conversation with each other unless we are high, stoned or drunk. That's why stupid decisions are made and that's why a lot of sexually transmitted diseases are spread - we are a very small percentage of the population that has sex with each other. It does not take long for HIV daisy chains to develop within most cities.

Start reading your history and learning about what this virus was like for those who witnessed all their friends dying before they turned 45. Yes, there are new ways of attacking what HIV does, but look at our economy - it won't be long before our government supported health care falls apart. Research will be slowing way down. Think access to expensive meds are tough now? Wait another five or ten years - we might be lucky to even get half of what we get right now. My point is to not be ignorant about this. Use what you know. Treat other gay men with respect starting today because those same men might be the ones who you might need to lean on in a few years. We don't know how to have friends or relationships with other gay people - we need to be able to sit and talk about this. Coming out is not enough - that's a personal statement; definitely a great one, but you also have a responsibility for the health of our gay community at large. You can't pick and choose what parts of the gay community you want to be 'seen' with or deal with. We can't afford that anymore.

[Opinionator]

Patrick,

I'm going to hold my opinion on whether to call you a 'dumbass', or a 'slut', or not, because I don't know how or when you got infected.

So, how and when you got infected?
If you say that you got it in the 1980s, then I got all the COMPASSION for you since, back then, not everyone knew that a condom would prevent the disease, and that the information was not prevalent.

But, if you say you got it later, like the 1990s or 2000s, then I would say that you were indeed a dumbass slut (notice that I used 'were'). That's COMPASSION, hun, because words don't kill like AIDS. 'Dumbass' and 'slut' (and among other words) should be used more often, especially in the Bareback room.

[shayne55]

It's fairly clear that most gay men think that HIV is a walk on the beach. If you do seroconvert, it's only a matter of taking a couple of pills a day. It's a perception furthered by many of our AIDS organisations, anxious to 'not stigmatise' the HIV+. But there's more to HIV than we are told. In March this year I was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer called Burkitts Lymphoma. It is very much HIV-associated; the virus destroys the B-cell system which suppresses cancer cells which normally exist in our bodies. After six months intensive chemotherapy and some very nasty surgical procedures, I think I have the cancer beaten for now. It's something else to consider before deciding to poke that hotty without a condom and something our agencies should be making everyone aware of.

[Brian]

I was in a 5 year relationship that ended. But what I am doing to stop the spread of HIV is I don't have sex. Will I have sex again? I am sure I will. But I will be a hell of a lot more choosy than I was in my past. I don't drink alcohol so I don't make messed up choices. My sexual activities will include hand jobs and protected oral sex. Sounds boring I know. I want people to like me for me and not my dick. I also want to be alive. I got so tired taking hiv tests. Thankfully my last one was neg. I do not want that kind of stress. It is just not worth it. Sex is great, but it is not that great. There is so much more to do than get off.

[Joey]

I am glad they put this article up today. Point blank...why? I dont know why but guys we are being too damn easy and trustworthy. We dont use protection, but when something bad comes up, or the day we get tested we start freaking out. Condoms please. But, it wont stop spreading, you know why? People are stil going to have short term gratification to have a dick in them or in someone without a condom. Its not worth it. These days, you cant trust anyone with this stuff.

[Bobbie]

I really hate reading some of these responses. I don't think it's fair to judge ALL HIV+ men as careless and sex-obsessed whores, especially when certain religious and political groups think we are all like that. It's not fair to lash out at a group of people you don't even know. People have gotten HIV from blood transfusions and condoms breaking, as well as from a cheating "monogamous" partner. Not all HIV+ people (male and female alike) have gotten it by placing their sexual desire over their health. True, there are those out there who are careless and sleep around without condoms, but there are as many straight people who do it as we do. There is no way, besides total abstinence, to entirely stop the infection rate. I personally believe that until a true antivirus has been produced, HIV will never go away.

Also, a staggering number of gay man are practically illiterate on the subject of HIV and AIDS, not knowing the difference between the two.

[Rich]

don't attack websites. don't attack HIV+ people. don't assume they are sluts. alot of hiv+ guys were in relationships trusting their partners who often said things like 'if you want this relationship to work you're going to have to trust me' and other emotional blackmail techniques to ensure condomless sex. And there is no causational evidence to show that HIV is transmitted from one person to another. It is only correlational scientific evidence--a big difference.
The problem as I see it is we need to be out there educating straights about gays. period. Now we have an army of know-it-all judgmental queens who are going out in public to educate everyone about AIDS. So now straights are more likely to equate gay men as diseased individuals and affirm their moral convictions about homosexuality and walk away knowing that it will most likely never happen to them, because after 25 years if it hasn't hit the straight middle class and upper class communities hard by now, it never will.
what we need is a cure. not more money making med's, but a cure. just like hepatitis. we need a cure. this 'disease' has divided us into goodies and baddies and has disempowered us. turned brother against brother. we should never have pushed so hard for meds, we should have pushed harder for a cure.
so ask yourselves, if HIV+ means you test positive for the antibodies, how is it ever going to be possible to create a vaccine? a vaccine is a little bit of a virus that is supposed to initiate an immuno repsonse achieving immunity. so the whole idea, the science behind HIV needs to be reassessed.

[zarxo]

This is the deal: If it's a fluke happenstance in the midst of high energies--maybe it shouldn't be discusssed. If you catch yourself continually bumpting into strangers then its time for real honest to yourself and to your mate.

An on-going affair is premeditation and deserves no apologies nor its graces. Cut it lose.

Signs of affairs: if his friends are painted a sorrow pic of you, the other mate--this keeps his friends intentionally at bay from you--as the bad guy. Anytime someone is with a bad guy--always look at the good guy as being the "bad guy," the one who cannot keeps his belt buckled.

Quiet men are known to be unfaithful--they wonder what lie has been told to what person--that in itself is somewhat funny.

You will never go wrong with a "reasonable man." One who has tucked his emotions under his chin to see life differently--he may appear insensitive, but with him, you'll never be wronged.

Benedicite!

[Patrick]

Hey Opinionator - thanks for making an example of the very point I was trying to make. In my eyes you are no better than the breeders that are trying to take away my right to marry.

You are so lucky right now...if I was sitting next to you, I'd take that 'hun' and shove up your ass...without a condom.

And by the way, how and when I got infected is none of your fucking business.

[Heber]

Wow, this is actually a very interesting article. Yet i would kind of be mad as well it isn't really the article which provokes my anger but how some people start insulting those who already are HIV+ I am 18 years old and HIV-. However, to be calling sluts or any other offensive words to those who regretfully and accidentally became HIV+, it would be like a total stranger slapping your face and calling you an Idiot.

The reason why i think this problem is increasing or why there has been more HIV+ cases, is because we tend to not think once we are in rush mode, or excited. Its like when you are being pressured your tend to not be able to concentrate, same happens when you get adrenaline rush, or when you are excited. Its very hard. I hope i haven't offended anyone.

[Joey]

I agree with Rich...point blank we need a cure because this shit has a stigma thats really hurting the human race! This aids thing is a horrible thing it is. Here is a slight example of what I think aids can be compared to. In the 1940's in Austrailia, there was a non-native rabbit population that had over populated that continent. The governement released a pathogenic virus to kill them off. Now in a time when our own population was booming out of control since industrial rev...thats when the aids came in, 10 years earlier. Whether it was created or just happened somehow, thats basically what its attempting to do. Its amazing how things such as aids and some std's have no symptoms at 1st, and are so subtly spread.

[Joey]

I am speaking of the general human population, not just one race.

[Opnionator]

Hey Patrick - What does taking away your right to get marry have to do with you're being HIV+? Straw-man attacks do not prove you any point, hun.

And yes, I am lucky because I'm HIV-, and you're threatening me with shoving something up my ass, without condoms at that, proves that you're not going to "educate with COMPASSION" - unless, you're going to beat me down with your COMPASSION. Sounds like the Bush doctrine and his COMPASSIONATE conservatism.

And you're right, it's none of my 'fucking business', as you colorfully stated, how or when you got infected. So, I rescind that question. And I'm not going to call you a 'slut' without knowing - but a dumbass, well, you proved my point.

And by the way, did you know it's a crime to shove anything up someone's ass without a condom if you're HIV+ ? Let alone without their consent.

[PaulPV]

Last February, I had protected sex with someone who later turned out to be HIV+. That totally wrecked my nerves, and for a few months I was convinced I had the virus, got tested several times, had sleepless nights and almost fainted every time I sneezed. I did not have ANY sex until I got convinced, after about 7 months, that I was clean. Two lessons I learned, 1) Sleeping around definitely isn’t worth getting the virus and 2) I could be HIV+ now and that still would be me, with all my good and bad qualities. HIV+ guys and gals are people exactly like us! ‘Compassion’ is too condescending; what we need is a realization that ANYONE can get the virus. UNDERSTANDING is what we need.

[Tina Marshall]

Jonathon- your post makes so mcuh sense. I agree whole heartedly.
Thank you for saying what I am thinking-only so much better than I could have.

[Arthur Graves]

There never be a cure. The RX company are making to much money off it. My two HIV Meds just went up. The Only way to stop it is to get TESTED and PLAY SAFE. But the young people now days think the meds are a cure. So they don't care.

[Mark]

I think a lot of the younger guys (under 25) think of it as a rite of passage or figure they are going to get it eventually so why not do it and get it over with. At least that's what a couple of young guys told me. I'm Poz and I'm not doing anything to stop the spread of it other than never having sex with Neg guys.

[FeralCatt]

My personal plan for stopping HIV is simple. It takes more effort than being judgmental of other groups.

We have to figure out how to take it on its own territory. It's an STI (aka an STD). Fact is, people aren't exactly prone to one-partner-in-a-lifetime monogamy. If monogamy were always a natural state of humanity, the virus would never have survived. It exists to this day and is widespread BECAUSE the conditions that it requires for transmission are so common.

Teaching sexual abstinence in sex education won't work; you may as well teach "just hold it" as potty training.

So the first step in really fighting it is to accept that humanity by and large does not consist of lifetime monogamists. We have sex; as a species, it is in our genes' best interest to have sexual diversity. Most of us have more than one partner in a lifetime, many have more than one relationship at a given moment (either discreetly or openly).

We have to take on a new dynamic: Sex is GOOD. Disease is BAD. Sexual responsibility (being honest about what you have while not taking anyone else at face value, and maximizing enjoyment while minimizing risk through hot, safer practices) is what I advocate. This doesn't leave room for finger-pointing and sneering that so-and-so is a slut. It instead means that making sure our own inner sluts find safer methods of seeking fulfillment.

[Kevin Polanko]

Being an adult Gay Man,who remembers that it was once called GRID,
AND the former Director of Education of AIDS Project New Haven, my answer to the question is simply, EDUCATION, ABSTAIN, EDUCATION,LATEX LATEX LATEX.

[Kevin Polanko]

Okay, Sir Jason...........
Why, oh, why, do you and other breeders equate Gay=slut?????

"I'm Here, I'm Queer...
Get used to it"

Kevin4956@Yahoo.com

[Justin]

I think and im free to have my own opinion, that the anger shown here is just a small amount of the anger that is hovering over this disease. And this is a disease. Its not important the who, how, or when any longer. What is important is a CURE. Whatever happened to unitied we stand divided we fall??? We as Humans should be coming together to CURE HIV/AIDS, not name calling and pointing fingers. However people have gotten hiv/aids doesnt matter and now we need to come together and put a end to it. Im shocked at the reactions I read on here but even more so I was saddened. If we cannot come together on this(not as "the gay" community) but as one human race this will only continue, and I am for one sick of some of the best people I have ever known dieing for this and I pray that we will one day have a cure, Hopefully yes, but 10 years ago the idea of an African American president was just as hopefull.

[Bob in Tampa]

It is easy to lay blame on someone else. The truth is that the parents of young people of today did not want to talk about sex in America. No sex. It was up to public entities, the schools, churches, etc. Those institutions are controlled by those who believe in abstinence only. Even though they did not practice it, they know their friends did not practice it, by willing it, it was to become true. So much for the fairy tale. It is time for Americans to wake up and admit that sex is natural, and it will happen. Let's talk about it, let's make it ok, let's take the mystery out of it. If there is nothing to hide, kids won't need to be cool and be sly about it.

[Kirk]

I think these are some very eloquent and thought-provoking comments, even the "angry" ones. Education, imperfect as it is, is the best weapon we have to prevent new infections in the short-term. In the long run, it will take the concerted and sustained effort of the whole community to defeat HIV. We need to work at changing the "sexual culture", in addition to telling people to wear condoms. How about encouraging "fetish" acts that don't involve penetration by our partners. (I'm willing to bet that every one can find least one such safe fetish that turns them on.) Why can't we turn our creative talents loose on creating new sex toys, games, etc...? As for finding a cure and vaccine for HIV, that is certainly a noble goal, but I don't see that the gay community en masse is willing to do the hard work and make the financial sacrifices it takes to make those realities come sooner rather than later.

[Justin]

DR RATH HAS NOT RECEIVED A NOBEL PRIZE HE WORKED WITH A DR WHO HAD WON 2. HE HAS NOT FOUND A CURE FOR AIDS, IN FACT HE HAS CAUSED PEOPLE TO DIE WITH HIS VITAMIN TREATMENT. FOR WHICH HE IS NOW BANNED FROM DOING ANY ADDITIONAL SO CALLED TESTING ON. GOOGLE HIM AND FIND OUT WHAT A EVIL PERSON HE IS, HE HAS MADE MILLIONS OUT OF FALSE CLAIMS AND HAS BEEN BANNED TO ADVERTISE SUCH CLAIMS. PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO BE INFORMED HERE RE: THIS. ILBU11 IS WRONG AND HIS COMMENT SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM THIS POSTING.

[Garrett]

The Issue is that even though we are telling people to wear condoms and such, the education is not thorough. What many people do not know is that the transmission of HIV can be done with out ever even seeing another penis or needle. The transmission comes from our own bodies. I work in a doctors office and read the journals and such that come through the staff. Recent studies have shown that the autoimmune issue is caused by the repetitive breaking of the mucosal membrane that is in your lower colon. The constant need to rebuild and fix this issue causes the autoimmune response of HIV. This response is similar to what bulimics experience in their esophagus that is also an autoimmune attack. See, the issue is not a condom! It's all the sex! And believe me i like sex just as much as the next guy but being more controlled and minimizing the number of times and partners you have and continuing condom usage after marriage are really the only ways for an individual to hinder transmissions with the greatest success rate. I believe that to stop this awful disease from killing many and potentially mutating into an airborne virus and/or causing other issues, we need to maximize education, teach the value of self restraint and think individually because if each human, heterosexual or homosexual can just think for themselves about what they are risking and do so with a completely informed conscience, we can help to end the constant battle of man and disease.

[Charlie]

Promiscuous sex doesn’t spread HIV. UNSAFE sex does. This distinction is crucial. Free and frequent sex with many partners has obviously been a fixture of gay male life for a long time, and yet the HIV spike among the young is only recent. What has changed to increase HIV transmission is that part of the younger generation has become dangerously complacent in the face of increasingly effective HIV medications and longer life spans (I say part because I am young and gay – 21 – and I and virtually everyone I know is very safe.) And it's not only factually wrong for those alarmed by the HIV spike to blame and stigmatize sexual promiscuity, it's also reactionary and judgmental in a way that fails to appreciate one of the greatest gifts of the gay male community - to pursue free love, and free sex, in an accepted, normalized way, in a way much of the straight community cannot because of fear of being ostracized as with the pejorative "slut." There is nothing wrong with sex, and a lot of it; it is fun, healthy, and beautiful. It is sexual repression, the underlying idea that it is somehow something to be ashamed of, that distorts people with guilt such that they DO take truly harmful actions on themselves and others. And, it seems the good cause of promoting sexual safety will only be set back by the politically self-defeating strategy of stigmatizing sexually promiscous men, in a community full of sexual promiscuity.

Now failing to use protection must be treated as the dangerous and irresponsible act it is, and AIDS must be portrayed as the continuing major threat it is. The virus mutates and drugs stop working; you may live longer than you would before, but not your full life expectancy; what if you make mistakes in taking your medication, or don't have the money to cover the costs?; the possibility of rejection by sexual partners for fear of infection; will you be able to have children?; the social stigma and the personal fear. But this information MUST be presented in a way that respects those who aren't being responsible, that understands their overall worth, and doesn't dismiss them with hateful names -- otherwise we lose their ear, and their receptiveness, and our ability to send our message. Moreover, only by building people's self-esteem, and refocusing the community on the worth of their lives and how many positive things they can achieve -- not viciously dismissing them -- will young gay men realize their own worth, lose the cavalier attitude, and be more serious about protecting themselves from the real threat of HIV. And we can only build a more responsible and healthy community if we are also loving and mutually supportive as a community – because only then can there be the mutual trust that is needed to change people's hearts and minds.

[Joshua Schwartz]

I run a group in where I live that focuses on safe sex and std awareness. so far we are just a small group but one none the less. Hopefully with time we will see a good growth. Till then I continue to support other means of education.

[jolen]

people hiv status should become public knowledge, obviously those who know they are hiv positive arent honest about it, which is a huge problem in the gay as well as straight community, hiv testing should also become manditory

[Kevin Polanko]

I truly give up on most people writing here today. HIV/AIDS... Not hiv/aids.

Sad, sad, sad.

Cannot even spell them correctly, and we HOPE to erraticate this disease???

[Scott]

I am not an epidemiologist, and I can't pretend to know anything deeply about the spread of AIDS in young people. But a complex disease such as this is likley multifactorial; there are so many pathways by which it is transmitted. I think a number of factors are playing into this, however:

1. The advent of online gay social networking is shifting the meeting norms for gay sex. There is little ritualism in dating, and people are having sex and then deciding if they like the person. What was once a difficult feat to meet a potential partner has been facilitated by such sites as manhunt and gay.com as well as hundreds of others.

These sites are really revolutionizing the gay community, but in some very unhealthy ways. Yes, it is easier to meet people and exchange ideas, but it is also far easier to find new sexual encounters as often and as much as one pleases.

2. The initial shock of the disease from the late 80ies and ealry 90ies has come and gone. Young people come to age knowing about the disease and hearing about treatments. It seems so unreal.

I am sure that there are boundless other factors influencing this problem.

My 2 cents.

[Gene Hegney]

My favorite subject, as I've been living with it since '89. After living in Phoenix and visiting CA a number of times and even in small states like ND gay individuals do tend to be oversexed or promiscuis (sp). Including myself, which is why I contracted the virus. After a second date w/a wealthy man living in a mansion in the Camelback Mountains in Phx. who'd you'd never suspect of being HIV+, decided to go bareback with me only to tell me the morning after when I was walking to my car, "Oh, by the way, I'm HIV+." I was too stunned to say anything but kept in touch with my Dr. until I received the news. I've never really felt discriminated against. I've built a emotional wall of sorts to block out negativity from others as I know they are either ignorant or more so stupid. I was employed by the Federal Judiciary and was treated w/respect from my peers, received yearly promotions, and even provided with a twin size bed in a small empty room were I could go and rest if I needed, along with a blanket of over 200 hours I could use for sick leave if needed. I feel anything but discriminated. After you have lived with it a number a years that "wall", I've mentioned previously, came into play, as I prayed something would, and made up my mind those issues would bother me and most of all try not to be too sensitive. In ending, I can say that people are too sensitive and need to take the time to look within themselves to find a different perspective on self and life. My only issue I have now is dying alone as in, dying without a partner or such, and guess I'll have to pray on that one as well.

[A_word_from...]

"and yet the HIV spike among the young is only recent"

Since this is an old post, you may not be back. But had I seen this sooner, I'd say that the onus is upon you to prove that a rise in the number of those with HIV (assuming that's even factual) equates to a rise in the number of *new* infections. If you couldn't prove that, then the speculation that a change in sexual practice has occurred among homosexual men, would be unfounded. And it would be just as legitimate then to speculate that the statistics merely reflect a rise in testing. Let's not forget that this too has long been a taboo in the gay community. That long diatribe glorifying promiscuity was a little bizarre, in light of the intended point of that post. It's amazing how someone can be so passionate about the "virtue" of promiscuity, a behavior that in any context points NOT to good health, pride or self-confidence, but to instability, superficiality, and insatiability, YET say that a sexual decision that played a role in your being, unprotected sex, is inherently irresponsible or like asking for a death sentence as they say. Pre-HIV such a claim would be ridiculous. And it still is. Only moral relativism would say that an act is fine one minute, but the next, the same act is irresponsible. The only variable that could effect that is intention. But since human nature is the same and people have unprotected sex for the same reasons now as they did in the past, that relativism does not stand. The only thing that can factually be said is that the existence of HIV created a level of risk in ALL sexual activity. We all have the ABILITY, not responsibility, to choose the risk we are comfortable with. And I realize this won't be taken well since so many out there think that as long as they are not have unprotected sex, they are not risking anything anyway. They truly and honestly believe that, which is why the me smart vs. them stupid mentality keeps popping up, like on this thread. But I liked what one person above said - UNDERSTANDING, even morseso that compassion is in order. Sexually transmitted HIV will never completely go away through the advocacy/practice of even safer sex practices.( though fwiw, I do recommend being as safe as possible within your chosen sexual lifestyle) And imo, nothing short of complete eradication should satisfy anybody. One dying of AIDS is no better than one million. But in the meantime, what CAN go away is the psychological sickness this disease is causing, to even those without the disease. And this can be done by people having the guts that acknowledge that unless they abstain from sex altogether, they too could be a victim of HIV. And should someone else contract this virus, the best thing you could do is to remember that you are not invisible and count your blessings.