Tolerance, Parents, and their LGBT Kids: A Matter of Life and Death

A new study on the effects that parental/family tolerance and acceptance have in suicide among LGBT teens has been released and is covered in this month’s Pediatrics.

The study, quoting the Director of Health Initiatives at the Cesar Chavez Institute at San Francisco University, finds that:

"A little bit of change in rejecting behavior, being a little bit more accepting," says lead researcher Caitlin Ryan, "can make a significant difference in the child's health and mental health.”

The study concluded that LGBT youth who experienced high levels of rejection were over eight times as likely to attempt suicide than youth who were not.

It’s a gravely important piece of work, and comes out a very opportune time, corresponding to a film that Lifetime TV is airing on Jan. 24th, “Prayers for Bobby”.  The film – the true story of Bobby Griffith and his mother Mary – tells the story of one woman’s struggles and ultimate failures to accept and love her gay son for what and who he was.   Mary was a devout churchgoer who prayed – and wanted her so to pray – that he would be “cured” of his homosexuality.  Bobby ended up killing himself due to this parental rejection and condemnation.   

Mary Griffith, (played by Sigourney Weaver, who also produced the movie) has, since her son’s death, joined FLAG and become an outspoken leader for the organization.  Her goal is to reach out to other parents and family members of LGBT youth to tell them to love their children, accept their children, help their children, for the price of not doing so can be, as she knows all too well, the death of their children.

View the trailer for Prayers for Bobby:

Hopefully, this new study in Pediatrics will receive the attention that it deserves among schools, churches, youth organizations, social workers and child care specialists.  Perhaps the movie will help raise some attention around this issue as well.

(Image courtesy of Lifetime)

Comments

[Jonathan]

It also needs to be understood that it's not just gay teens that are experiencing this. I am seeing many more adult gay men who are 10-20 years past their teenage years who are suicidal or have committed suicide. Nobody knows for sure whether or not it has to do with family acceptance, but nevertheless, this discussion on gay men and suicide must go beyond the age of 18. Look at our addiction rates. Look at our isolationism. Look at how many men have been on this chat site now for ten years who have barely left the house. These are all warning signs that these men will have nobody to turn to if and when their lives become so lonely that irrational thoughts turn to suicidal ones.

One thing we also need to remember is that gay men are generally not very accepting of other gay mens' mental health issues - we are not supportive of each other if, say, another gay man needs someone to cry to or talk about whatever life pain he is experiencing. We want to appear that we are above that, the party is still on; no problems in this house. I think that gay women are much more receptive to each other's emotions and willing to be honest and call things as they are. We tend to exaggerate how well off we are and how great our lives are when that is obviously not the case. Instead we hype up the 'look good' things like gay marriage and fashion and pride and say nothing about declining health or suicide or the men who are over 40, terrified, and have never met another gay man in their lives. I guarantee you, there are many more of the latter than the former. We need to be mindful of them also.

[michaelj72]

these are important studies. i seem to recall that in general gay teens and young adults who are coming out or struggling with their sexuality etc are 3-4 times as likely as their straight mates to think about and/or try suicide. it's shocking.

I would be willing to bet that if someone could do some real honest kinsey-like indepth mass interviews and a report on the issue, over all the age groups/ranges for gay men and women that we'd be pretty shocked by the results. our society is still stuck in the commercialism outer world and lots of emotions from our past haven't been dealth with. I reckon from a survey years back that depression is the most prevalent and serious gay health/mental issue, not aids.

in my own friendship/support circle, which has had a lot of ex/catholics, intellecual jews and a mormon, all three groups seemed to produce teens and then adults who are often more angry, rebellious, depressed, and/or ambitious and materialist than other groups of friends. at least as far as my many catholic friends go the gay ones have been through a lot of rejection and guilt, and the anger of a strict unreasonable upbringing. That and the general social intolerance, which is still pretty strong out there in many sectors of the society, pushes a lot of guys into problem area with alcohol, depression and drug abuse. The stricter the parents were the harder the kid and child-adult had normalizing relationships. coming out and establishing all new relationships and learning a new way to act and interact in a different community is or can be pretty frightening and stressful and excitiing as well....

Maybe like with professions that have to go back to school or take refresher classes or a seminar to catch up on new knowledge, we should be requiring most parents back into schools from time to time to re-eduate them about the new sexuality, mental issues in general, their gay kids and neighbors.
a new world is happening.

(sorry it's late so i'm all over the wall on this one tonight)