The Times, They Are A Changing: Out and Greek on College Campuses

In what is surely a positive sign of change, I guess, The Lambda 10 Project held a national conference here in Chicago at DePaul University this past week.  Lambda 10 is a national organization of LGBT Greeks – that’s LGBT fraternity and sorority members.

Their membership comes from college campuses across the country, and their website shows some pretty impressive work being done around the issues of LGBT campus life generally, and LGBT Greek life specifically.

And God knows the Greek system needed – and needs – education and change in the area of LGBT rights and recognition.  When I was a student at the University of Illinois way, way, way back in the antediluvian 1980s, the U of I had the largest Greek system in the world.  It also had the most violent, misogynistic, racist and homophobic Greek system on the planet.  A group or system in more need of positive change could not be imagined.

But, in a large way, the Greek system at the U of I in the 1980s – and the Greek systems across the country in those days – merely reflected the rest of the country and its attitudes towards the LGBT community. 

Times have changed all over the country and all through society in terms of the status, respect and acceptance of LBGT individuals.  A group like Lambda 10 can play a positive part in accelerating those changes, and national public conferences like Out and Greek are vital.  Visibility, when combined with power (Lambda 10 has Cargill as one of their national sponsors – that’s economic power, friends!), is a good thing.

Still, it must be the old independent, non-group-joiner in me that cringes when I see Greek.  But hey, I can get over it.  And the work and success of groups like Lambda 10 is a good way to start! 

Kudos, brothers and sisters!

Comments

[Phi Delt Nate]

I think times are changing, but they can always get better. I'm not familiar with Lambda 10, but I plan on checking it out. I'm an out member of Phi Delta Theta at Miami University in Oxford, OH, and have found the greek system to be relatively kind and supportive of my "out" status. True I don't fit the stereotypical "Jack" mold, but we have a few members that do. Its weird, I actually enjoy a certain level of celebrity for being open within my fraternity. My brothers ask for fashion advice (even though I'd hardly call myself fashionable), dating advice (even though I recently was dumped), and definitely confide in me more than some of their other brothers.
The issue of my sexuality has only explicitly come up in a chapter meeting once where another brother (the biggest one in our chapter) quickly jumped up and told the one who'd made the comment to sit down and shut up before he got his ass kicked. I love the greek system despite its flaws, and I'm proud to wear the letters of my fraternity, especially knowing the men I call my brothers have my back.

[SigEp Dude]

I agree completely with this article and with Phi Delt Nate. Here at my chapter at the Univ of Arkansas, I was in the closet for a little while. Then I got voted into our "executive board," basically our officers (President, VP of Finance, Member Dev, etc). I knew that the guys respected me and I have contributed greatly to improving our chapter. I was also greatly involved in our recruitment and the younger pledges were very close to me. So, near the end of one of our chapter meetings, I simply got up and told the guys that I wanted to tell them something i've wanted to share for a very long time. I'm Bi, so maybe it made it easier for them to accept? But at the end of the meeting, some of the guys came up to me and gave me hugs and patted my back and told me I must have a "huge pair" to have stood up like that. Maybe it helped that I was an older guy and that I was an officer and whatever. Today, when we recruit and my gaydar starts going off, I share w/ the new guys that I'm Bi and the chapter knows. It adds diversity to who we are and makes us stronger for it, I think. While i'm glad I was able to do this with my chapter, I dont think it would be something easily done in others. In fact, some of the "closet" frat boys I know at school were surprised I didnt get pistol-whipped and strung up on a tree to die. They said that if they ever tried coming out to their own fraternities, they were afraid thats what would happen. Yes, things are changing - but they certainly still have a long way to go.

[SigEp1320]

Being part of Sigma Phi Epsilon is what gave me the confidence and self-assurance to accept and admit my sexuality. All of my brothers have been extremely supportive. Even when one brother publicly trashed talked me once he found out I was gay more than several of the SigEps went to my defense without me even knowing. My chapter appreciates its diversity and values my views for being from a different angle. I have graduated now and still serve on the alumni board. The younger guys know I am gay and make it known to new members so those that may be struggling know there is someone they can go to. Decent fraternities today are about building character and developing the individual, accepting yourself is a big part of that so its good to see things changing in this direction so that others can use organizations like this to fully find themselves.

[Nick]

As a member of a local fraternity, Epsilon Pi Alpha, I have definitely grown, learning the companionship of a brother. I was openly gay before I pledged and it made no different to the fraternity members. Being a diverse group of men, we really stand out as an example and as a leader because we pride ourselves on all our members, no matter their race, religion, class, or sexuality. By simply being gay and Greek and showing daily that there is no conflict between the two helps change a lot on campus.

[Opnionator]

I have an idea for gay.com since we're talking about fraternities and the peril of being gay in college.

You have a lot of gay folks who are young college students. Isn't it about time you write articles providing information and support for these folks? They read, they DO read these stuff. And some are ignorant of things out there that are for them - such as LGBT fraternities and sororities, and a bunch of other stuff.

There are plenty of bad, but few things good about gay.com; isn't it about time gay.com try something good for a change? Make that your new year's resolution.

[SigmaChi381]

I am the first openly-gay member of my chapter and the first openly-gay Interfraternity Council (NIC) President at my school. Times are changing a bit, but I wonder how many guys will be coming out in the years to come, after graduation.

[Keith Hanson]

Times are certainly changing! In 1986, Delta Lambda Phi, the nation's first fraternity for gay, bi, and progressive men, was founded by Vernon L. Strickland III. With 20 chapters (as well as 6 chapters-in-training known as "colonies"), DLP is one of the fastest growing fraternities in the country. It goes to show that gay Greeks are a growing identity in the nation's colleges and universities, and as DLP's motto says, "making our presence known."

[Burds]

I am a member of Sigma Phi Epsilon at an Ivy League institution. While I would say that coming out has been a huge weight off my shoulders, it has definitely had its ups and downs. While I am thankful for the support of most of my brothers, the fact that my school has such a large Greek system means that the attitude of the student body is very heterosexist in nature. As a consequence, very few guys like myself are out on campus, and the ones who are in the closet hardly put their toes out. It makes for a very frustrating four years here, to say the least, and I can't wait to get to an area where there are more guys around!

[Kris]

I first came out to people in my fraternity. I never heard of Lambda 10, and I went to a very "greek" school. I hope it becomes more active in promoting LGTB issues on campus verus things like all gay fraternities. I did not join a house to be surrounded by gay guys. I would never trade who I meet and lived with in my fraternity. I was the first "out" person in my house and we were a young house, so it added to who we were as a chapter. I mean having my straight brothers say to me that I never thought about having gay friends until you means a lot. I think its still hard to come out in a fraternity, but it takes time for the greek system to change. It is a system built on traditions and certain values no matter what house you are in so its up to each person to say what those values mean to the LGBT community. I just hope that gay members of the greek community can find a way to support each other cause you all know that every house there is someone struggling to come out and live as themself.

[Mike]

I was openly out before even being recruited into Phi Mu Alpha, so I never had any issues with brothers not treating me equally. I think it helped that there was already a current brother who was out at least at school and so they were used to it, plus the fact that we're a social fraternity in music... so there's a ton of gay guys in it nationally! but only once there might have been an issue and like others have already said, the other brothers stepped in and stopped it. We actually joke about it most of the time because we're all fine with it. I think the ideal thing to realize which can take time for a lot of fraterities, is that it's the man you are that defines you, not who you sleep with. once that is realized and acknowledged, then things go a lot smoother. I think it's great more gay college guys are involved in fraternities as well, helps us also show that we fit in and exist just about everwhere!

[beachsnake]

I'm a current closeted member of Sigma Nu Fraternity and while I do have open brothers in the fraternity I'm still a relatively private person. While, I can't speak for myself, my brothers who are out have received little to no backlash due to their open status.

[JOhn]

I'm in a christian fraternity and i'm out, they knew before bidding me. it's christian to, so kudos for me?

[ScorpioRising1977]

Sigma Alpha Epsilon... Phi Alpha!

[Shane Windmeyer]

The Lambda 10 Project is the only national clearinghouse for LGBT issues in college fraternities and sororities. The national educational initiative is part of Campus Pride, the leading national nonprofit organization for LGBT student leaders and campus groups. The Lambda 10 Project has been around since 1995 and was behind the book OUT ON FRATERNITY ROW, SECRET SISTERS & BROTHERHOOD. The Project has been influential in changing hearts and minds across traditional fraternities and sororites. More info online at http://www.lambda10.org

[jonevri]

I am really glad to hear about other gay members of the Greek community. I'm a Theta Chi, and I would say that my brothers played a huge role in me being able to come out. They were the first group of people that I told, and many of them were the first individuals that I told. I am grateful for the change that has come to Greek life.
I am also lucky to go to a very liberally minded liberal arts school, and there is a great gay community here. I'm glad to have picked my school and fraternity, it made coming out so much easier.

[Tim]

Hello. I am not only a gay Greek: Alpha Sigma Phi, Phi Mu Alpha & Alpha Phi Omega Alumnus, but an openly gay greek advisor. The other advisor for the Chapter is openly gay as well.
I was not "out" in college. I wish I had known then what I know now. These guys are my brothers. I wish I could have had the courage to open myself up to them. As I have come out to them over the years, they have all accepted me for who I am and the contributions I have made to the Fraternity.
Not long ago, a recent graduate of the Chapter came out to me. It was unfortunate that he waited until he was out of School to do this. He could have been a great role model for other undergraduates. But everyone must follow their heart.
I applaud the efforts of Lambda10 and all gay Greeks..we can & do make a positive difference.

[Dave]

I'm graduating from a small, private business school-not gay friendly and a very old school Republican club. I joined Tau Kappa Epsilon my sophomore year and came out to my brothers last year (junior year), it was the best experience. The guys are very cool with it and it has made it much easier for me to be open about being gay. I'd recommend to any college student to consider going greek, it brings about good opportunities for the future and is an excellent support network.

[Zane]

I am a brother of Theta Chi Fraternity, and have found my chapter, international organization, as well as my campus's Greek community to be even more open than the rest of campus. I am one of several out men in my chapter, and all of us are well respected, and hold, or have held office. Although many people perceive Greeks to be homophobic, I believe that, for the most part, we have moved on, at least on my campus!

[OutDeltaSig]

I had the rewarding experience of having my story published in "Out on Fraternity Row". Once I received acknowledgement that my story would be a part of this book, I began to disclose to my fraternity brothers that I am gay. To my surprise, eventhough I shouldn't have been, my brothers accepted me for who I am. Now looking back one of our active alumni brothers is out and open and since then there have been out brothers. I feel like I was at the beginning of this openesss and awareness (in the early 90's) now I am happy that other gay men can seek out the rewards and benefits of being Greek!!! Kudos to the Lambda10 Project for its continued work.