Quickie: To Swallow Or Not To Swallow!!

When it comes to sex, sometimes a Quickie is exactly what you need.

This week's Quickie question is:

Online Surveys & Market Research

The answer and a hilarious video on this after the jump!

Answer:

Option #2 is the correct answer. Spit that shit out! STIs love the warm dampness that inside of the mouth provides and can offer a fantastic way for STIs to pass though the walls of the inner mouth to get inside a person and possibly infect that person.

If an infected person shoots a load into another person’s mouth, the STIs live and thrive in these optimal conditions, and can very easily be passed to another person. These tiny parasites, bacteria and/or viruses that cause STIs are wicked little creatures that search for tiny openings in on the inner walls of the mouth and pass through tiny openings in the gums. For those STIs that are still surviving and hanging out in the mouth, once they are swallowed and reach the stomach, they are immediately killed by the acid.

Because STIs can transmit via the mouth into the body, some people recommend the “two hour” rule which basically means waiting two hours between brushing and going down on someone to allow the little openings created while brushing to close before those little sperm get anywhere near that mouth. So for Pete’s sake, please have some restraint, that dick will still be there in a couple of hours!!

Do you have a question about sex you would like TR to answer?  Send us an email.  We promise to keep your name confidential. 

TR Richardson is a certified HIV Educator and Counselor who is currently a Trainer/Community Educator for Planned Parenthood of Connecticut.  Prior to that she was involved in education and outreach to the LBGTQI community at the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective.

Comments

[HT]

The best ways to avoid STDs are being faithful to a partner and respecting him/her (aka NO CHEATING), or not having sex at all.

What makes this so difficult to understand? STDs should not be a problem in this day and age if people really were a community and had consideration for each other.

And I will not use "STI", "VD", "VI", or any other, potentially cutesier term. They are diseases and are spread through sexual contact. Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

[blah]

So basically the article is saying it's ok to blow and swallow a dude if you wait 2 hrs after brushing/flossing? I've heard that before but heard it was only 20 mins. but I guess 2 hrs sounds safer. Another safety precaution I can think of is to drink alcohol or swish mouthwash around (you'd probably do those anyway). Otherwise I've heard that there are no known cases of anyone getting Aids from oral sex, but I suppose that doesn't rule out herpes, which you'd get from just wrapping your lips around the thing, or his mouth...

[Name*Mindy]

"The best ways to avoid STDs are being faithful to a partner and respecting him/her (aka NO CHEATING)"

Wrong, that's the best way to avoid GIVING a disease. You can be honest and true and still end up with a lying jerk and still get an STD. Ask me how I know.

[Twiga12]

I am a member of gay.com and i get paranoid when it comes to STD and HIV, i fear alot and that makes many of my partner to run away from me. I have a request if these questions are disccussed at daily basis as this will make me and m sure others like me to learn and improve. I do read stuff online but still fear alot. Is there a way i could read this STD and HIV questions by email instead of logging on this site? As i dont log on this site that often.

[monsters81]

That question was stupid.. it made no sense.
as far as the story... great.. i think anyone with half a mind knows this stuff, but i am not really interested in getting cock sucking information from a dyke :)

[CT]

Baloney....been swallowing for years, and never got so much as a gum infection. And I know researchers at UCSD AIDS research, who have told me point blank, there are NO known cases of HIV through oral....so there;). It might help to rinse out the mouth with disinfectant, ie mouthwash or hydrogen peroxide, but it's better to swallow...than keep in your mouth anyway.

[d]

I'd definitely swallow the load of the guy at the top of this page in the white tank top. sexxxy!!

[garontor]

Hmmm, I think their answer and the text below it disagree with each other?

The answer says to spit, 'cause "STIs" can pass from the mouth into the body.

In the article below, it says that once you swallow the "STIs" are killed by stomach acid.

So as best as I can figure, there's really NO PROBLEM with swallowing 'cause everything will be killed by stomach acid. The problem, if anything, is with him shooting in your mouth to begin with. I'm no expert, but according to this article it sounds like swallowing quickly might be SAFER than spitting, especially if there's enough to fill much of your mouth.

Anyway, they really should make sure their answer and their reasoning agree...

[Adam]

You dip shits are pathetic! You read into it what you want to. No where does it mention HIV, it talks about STD or STI as she states it. There's more than just HIV out there to catch pretty boys! Pay attention!

[Todd]

I wonder if TR realizes that pre-ejaculate (precum) also can be a vector for many STIs, and by the time someone ejaculates, plenty of friction and preejaculate has pretty much guaranteed that anything that would be release in semen would have long been present in the mouth. Swallowing is probably not a great idea, but if the damage is going to be done it's already done. Digestive enzymes in the saliva and stomach take it from there as far as swallowing it goes.

[Nightbird]

I find it very interesting and ridiculous at the same time when I hear gay men say "there has never been a confirmed case of HIV being spread through oral sex"...oh really? And how exactly would we be able to confirm this? Do most gay men only have oral sex? No. Are most gay men completely honest about their sexual activities, including high risk sexual activities when speaking to doctors, counselors or researchers? No. Do most gay men (or people in general) have 100% healthy gums with no tears, cuts, infections or gingivitis? No. Is it possible someone contracted HIV through oral sex yet automatically blamed anal sex for it? Yes. What are the chances many people have contracted HIV and other STD's through oral sex, yet there is no clear method to prove this? Great.

Anyone who has studied the human body in a clinical setting like I have, it's liquids, it's membranes, it's cells..will tell you that there are many pathways we may not even know or be aware of where bacteria and diseases can enter. And common sense should tell you that if you put an STD that lives in a warm and wet environment into another wet and warm environment, it may very easily find a way to enter the host body -use your brains people, this isn't rocket science here. And for the guy who said he has been swallowing cum for years and hasn't been infected, all I can say is I have met a lot of men like yourself when I did charity work for AIDS victims, and they always tell me how stupid it was they thought they were safe like yourself, until the day came they tested positive..and by then it was too late to change their ill pre-conceived beliefs that oral sex and swallowing was safe. Play it safe people and use a condom -you only have one life to live.

[blah]

The thing that makes no sense regardless of if you think you can get it from swallow or not, uh if it's in your mouth and swallowing kills it via stomach acids, then basically the risk is exactly the same. (I don't believe there is any risk beyond herpes but you'd get that sucking a weenie with a condom on if you came into contact with his crotch. Plus who wants to suck latex, ew, I'm sure there are cancer causing chemicals in that not to mention irritation on your lips. I say suck, swallow and don't worry, just make sure you cover up when having anal sex --that's the main spreader of HIV...

[blah]

I wonder if nightbird is a dyke like the author lol, what would she know about cum... According to your theory nightbird; everyone should live in a sterile bubble. Kissing is a warm enviroment coming in contact with another warm enviroment and there are STDs present there too, some viruses you get just being around a person (cold, TB, Hepatitis). So should we all live in an oxygen bubble like Michael Jackson? I bet if all gay/bi guys switched to oral sex only and no anal that HIV would disappear in the gay community. Also let's face it, oral sex with a condom is not pleasurable, for the giver or receiver. And spitting, swallowing or pulling "off" early are the same risk if there really is one (precum is still present even before he blows)--so might as well go all the way, I just suggest using mouthwash, hydrogen peroxide as one guy suggested (also whitens teeth and fights gingivitis and plaque) or just drinking beer since the alcohol would also kill anything present, even the acids in a soda kills--that's why it's great for helping with bad breath, it kills the bacteria that cause it and keeps your mouth moist...off topic but really folks, get a grip---then just suck it and swallow. lol

[yum]

I agree with the one post, I'd definitely like to swallow the hunky Italian looking guy in the white tank top, OMG....mmmmm

[venezia_armani999]

What is with the obsession gay men have with swallowing? and barebacking???? Is it really worth risking your life over????

[UM]

do only "gay" men suck? why is it always about men, sucking, swallowing, having anal sex? how about women who like the same thing? are they in as much or not so much risk as all the hype is? just wondering

[Harley_Daddy]

I cannot believe you are doing "Teaser" headlines like that!

There are people who will ONLY read the headline, and not bother to read the whole damn article!
The way the headline is ocnstructed, it makes it seem liek it is an OPTION to engage in unsafe sex practices!

Get a writer who knows HOW to write headlines effectively, or leave the space blank!

[Nick]

They always said there was a risk in swallowing, but the majority of gays are basically promiscuous. What ever happened to 'safe sex'? or was that just a 90's thing? I always practice safe sex even if so many others think its tacky these days to ask someone put a condom on. I'm HIV negative and proud of it. Thank you.

[Brett]

Guys I am a physician and a gay male. Let me clear this up, bacteria and viruses can all be spread through any bodily fluid to another person. If another persons bodily fluids are in contact with you, esp in any mucous membrane ie the mouth, eye, anus, even skin....then you are at risk for infection. I wish this were not the case, but it is. I do find it somewhat alarming that this article makes it sound as if you are at risk only if you swallow. If it gets in your mouth, even precum you are at risk. In the hospital we use the concept of universal precaution. Assume everything is positive until proven otherwise. This is the only way to be truely "safe." Just as an aside.... I work in the ER and see gonorrhea of the throat, mouth, and eye everyday.

[Tom]

Frankly I think this is the biggest problem with the gay community. Why are people gay? Because something inside them says that they need to be nourished mentally, emotionally, physically and even on a spiritual level with a partner of the same sex.

But the gay community is to effeminized and dominated by sex.

Its amazing that gay men find long term monogomous intimate satisfying relationships at all.

Anyone who says they are high maintenance sexually or sex is a big part of their life has a problem because love should be the biggest part of anyones life.

If you have love in your relationship then sex shouldnt be anymore important than breakfast. A person wants to be loved on more than a sexual level and its pathetic how we dont want to be judged by our sexuality but continue to define our gay lives by sex.

[Zumba080808]

I agree with Tom (previous comment). Gay men focus too much on sex and not enough on love. Sex should just be part of a loving relationship between two men. Not the end all be all of it. We gay men still have a lot to learn.

[Amazed]

I had no idea gay men were so focused on sex. Don't you realize that these are open articles and comment boards read by a lot of people who aren't gay?

No wonder the majority of the country still has such a hard time being accepting and tolerant of the gay lifestyle.

Gay men do more to cause homophobia against themselves than any religion or crackpot cult.

[JW]

"The best ways to avoid STDs are being faithful to a partner and respecting him/her (aka NO CHEATING), or not having sex at all."

Closed-minded comment. Relationships where one partner is negative and the other not occur all the time. This advice is good for any and all situations . . . not only casual sex.

BTW, sex in a relationship is a lot more important that breakfast. Ask any relationship counselor or expert. It's often a critical component that determines if a relationship succeeds or fails.

[DB]

In response to "JW" above...

You say "ask any relationship counselor or expert."

There are no such things as experts when it comes to relationships, and counselors are just people with pieces of paper and are only going to tell you their perspective of your situation - which is all that it is, just their perspective. I've met hundreds of uneducated folks in my 52 years of life with far greater wisdom in regards to love and relationships, and have yet to meet a counselor or so-called 'expert' who has a perfect relationship or stable personal life.

In effect, what you are suggesting is that if one has a problem with a relationship or with sex in general, go seek a fool's input.

[Jonathan]

The person who calls him/herself "Amazed" above seems to be pretty judgmental and people who are often amazed are also often ignorant.

"I had no idea that gay men were so focused on sex"...aren't a lot of people, straight or gay or whatever?

Amazed, I don't know what you are doing reading postings on a gay website and then telling everyone that you are amazed. Stick to the Disney channel.

[Nate of the Living Dead]

I think that question misleadingly implies that you can only get a disease if you actually SWALLOW cum, not just suck dick.

And judging by people's comments, that seems to be the general consensus...

WOW that's scary.

[Me and My Shadow]

I agree with Amazed. Reading these posts is scary.

To the person who responded to Amazed asking them why they read things on gay web sites, you better wake up to the fact that a LOT of visitors come to gay web sites. Don't assume everyone is gay.

[jonathan]

To Amazed and Fans of Amazed, if you just visit, then why don't you reserve your judgment? If you are not gay, what right do you have to make blanket statements?

You are judging from a small number of posts which are hardly representative of the gay community.

Would you know? You can't and, therefore, such silly and impromptu comments put all gay people into the same basket.

If you recall, I took no position regarding the article. I just thought it was infuriating that people like Amazing and "the agreer" felt empowered to make ignorant and clearly prejudicial statements based on a totally statistically insignifcant sample of opinions voiced in the posts.

I could equally say that all non-gays who view this website and pass judgment are "voyeurs" with blank and bleak lives who are fundamental evangelists. Would that be true?

I said "could". Don't you have your own sites where people like you can proclaim your beliefs and creeds and where everyone will agree with you?

[R]

so much hate and negativity on these posts... no wonder the gay community is so f--d up...

[Roger]

I have been sucking cock and swallowing cum (on some occasions holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out) for some 37 years. I also used to always receive (occasionally give) bareback for about 15 years before HIV came along. Before HIV came along I did regularly get an VD. A trip to the local "Hassle Free Clinic", a needle (or sometimes pills) and POOF the VD was gone. Since HIV came along and I started using condoms for anal sex I have not gotten even one VD and have remained HIV-. This despite the fact that I have given and received bareback a very few times since HIV came along but I or he pulled out before coming. This has convinced me that VDs (including HIV) are most likely to be transmitted from dick coming into ass. Of course it's always possible that I have some rare immunity or have just been lucky, but I like to believe that a condom has saved my life.

[Mike]

The question is deceiving and reminds me of the Genesis story where Moses implies Satan twists questions asking Eve why she cant eat any fruit of any trees at all. Who is the writer of this stuff to claim for all people that a quickie is exactly what you need. Further, the two answers both presume the cum is allowed in the mouth because it says either swallow or spit out. Why has it gone that far. If it shoots in the mouth then it is already there, spitting may lessen but contact has already been made to the membranes. And what makes you think the cum has it and the precum doesnt. I havent oralled in 5 years, and yet i picked up gonnorhea from a guy who put me on my back and drooled into my mouth, yuck, trying to play hocky with a straight stiff pointing tongue poking at my tonsils. The damn nurse implied kissing couldnt pass it; shows you what kind of little pecks she gives anyone.

[Disappointed D]

Seriously? What is wrong with you all? Unsafe sex at any point is as the name states, unsafe. And for all the ones who seem to only be concerned with HIV and AIDS, and I know I'm not the first to point this out, there are other things to worry about too.

There's a reason they make flavored condoms.

[FunWithNumbers]

As I was reading through this thread I was impressed with the number of thoughtful and intelligent responses. That's truly refreshing. However, I was also horrified at some of the comments attacking the author as being a "dyke" and therefore being ignorant of gay health issues.

Excuse me folks, but a little history for those of you who don't remember. Many lesbians cared for and fought for the rights of gay men during the AIDS crisis of the 80's. As a gay man in my forties, I remember because I was there. Also the author appears to be certified in sexual health issues and education, so I would think she knows what she's talking about.

[Hotel Discount Expert]

The survey restul isn't too bad. Most people still spit that stuff out :-)

[Zuphira]

It would seem to me that this is worthless advice since common sense suggests that spitting or swallowing makes no difference. If it's in your mouth that's all that matters. Spitting or swallowing isn't going to remove all the residue from your mouth.

Put a drop of food coloring in your mouth and see how long you have to spit before it's clear again. Take a sip of vinegar, spit it out and see how long it takes for the taste to go out of your mouth.

If you're going to give advice please at least make it good advice.

[Rob F.]

This is why disease spreads. People taking the "CHANCE". I find it APPAULING when people advertise stuff like "I bareback" or "I swallow". If you want to do that stuff then you and your partner should go down to your local health dept. or clinc and get tested FIRST. Whatever happened to true love, safe sex and just jacking each other off?

[Jospeh]

Why is all this sex information concerning viruses about gay men (instead of non-gay men or women)? Because we only make up 2% of the male population. Look at any other group of people this small and concentrated (Native Americans come to mind) and look at how quickly diseases spread in very small communities where its members often have sex with each other. Within a month, logically, everyone could get sick. This is why we continue to ignore this stuff - none of us see ourselves as being like 'those other gay guys' so we don't take any of this seriously, and hey, who the hell cares if some other gay guy gets sick and dies? One less queer for us to compete with, right? That's our mentality when it comes to responsibility. Get what I want, from who I want, get him out of my home as soon as I get off, never ask his name or number and then ignore him on the streets if we ever see him again.

GEE - I wonder why straight people think our relationships are a joke and don't think we should have the right to get married. People with Down's Syndrome or fetal alcohol syndrome would be better at marriage and maintaining relationships.

[corrective_unconscious]

>Is it possible someone contracted HIV through oral sex yet automatically blamed anal sex for it? Yes. What are the chances many people have contracted HIV and other STD's through oral sex, yet there is no clear method to prove this? Great.

More than 30 million people worldwide are HIV+. If oral sex were a vector for HIV/AIDS transmission we would know it without doubt, and just about every US gay male who ever sucked cock without a condom would have contracted HIV in the peak AIDS years. That did not happen. It was dirty IVs and anal intercourse without a condom. This is so damn obvious and well established, and there's no excuse for fear mongering idiots to be spreading nonsense on this board.

However, could someone get HIV/AIDS from oral sex? I guess it is theoretically possible, but as the statistics and the medicine show, it's terrifically unlikely - vanishingly small odds. Just like I could get hit by lighting twice on the same day...but it's not gonna happen and I'm going to walk around outside despite the "risk."

Of course oral sex without a condom does come with a real risk of exposure to other STDs, as the article makes clear. Condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse are a must in the age of HIV.

[kf]

>But the gay community is to [sic] effeminized and dominated by sex.

1.) If someone is effeminate and it offends you, that's YOUR problem.

2.) No one ever talks about the risk of oral cancer from giving oral sex. I believe it's from the same virus that gives genital warts. Any penetrative sex act has its risks.

[R]

In defense of the author, the title is misleading but then again it certainly attracted all these readers-didn't it? If the article were titled: "STI's and You" - How many do you think would actually read it?

[kf]

You know what else is annoying? When people blame gay men for being sex obsessed. I have news for you: this whole society is sex obsessed. What magazine, what billboard, what tv commercial, what sitcom with it's smirking innuendo, what adult webpage on the internet did anyone miss when they said gay men are obsessed with sex? Maybe it was Dan Savage who said that the very least such a sex obsessed culture could do is offer ways to lower the risk of pregnancy and disease. So thank you to whoever is offering it.

[GaySex]

HT is right. The best way to avoid infection is abstinence. The 2nd best way is to be monogamous with an uninfected partner.

Now I realize some of you think that's judgmental but it's not. I also realize some of you can't live without tricking, so it won't apply to you since you'd never consider it in first place.

Is that too hard to understand? You can't catch it if you don't expose yourself to it. You can't catch gonorrhea of the throat (or any other communicable disease or infection) if you don't suck an infected dick. I know two guys who got gonorrhea (of the throat) by sucking the same guy's infected dick. Neither swallowed, both spit it out right away. I know because one of them was me and I learned my lesson. It only takes a split second for a virus to get into you, whether it's the flu or any other virus.

Some of you might say that it's not practical to be monogamous, orally anally or anything else, with an uninfected partner. If that's what you think then nothing anyone says about anything related to safe(r) sex is going to sink in through your thick skull.

I'm not a bible thumper or a prude. I don't have to be to realize you can't catch it if you don't expose yourself to it. The best way to have any sex and not expose yourself to infection and disease is to be monogamous with an uninfected partner. If you can't handle that then like I said, nothing anyone says will get through to you. If you think being monogamous with an uninfected partner is impractical, you're a fool.

[yabba dabba do]

In regards to gay men being obsessed with sex, ALL men are obsessed with sex be they straight, gay, or bi.

I think what the bigger problem is comes down to "in your face" attitudes thrown on society on a daily basis by gay men.

How many straight men have you met who wear T shirts with "Hetero and Proud" slogans? How many times have you met someone socially and had them shake your hand and smile while saying "Hi, I'm Joe and I'm a heterosexual." How many heterosexual bumperstickers have you seen?

Yet, gay men who are "out" tend to be in everyone's face. Everyone just HAS to know how "special" they are, how different, how much oppression and suffering they've endured under the hands of society gone the way of indifference. That, in and of itself, is arrogant and a call for attention. A call to be the CENTER of attention. And what is the end result? They get oppressed, treated indifferently, even beat up and (unfortunately) murdered. All for having to tell EVERYONE they know just how gay they are.

What ever happened to just being Dave, or George, or Michael the human being instead of "the gay guy?"

We reap what we sow. If we want to be centers of attention, just remember that hatred runs rampant in America and common sense says squeaky wheels will get noticed in a heartbeat.

Well, off to my bikini wax.

John "HEY I'M GAY GLAD TO MEET YA" Theisen LOL!

[kf]

>

I don't really know a lot of straight guys who get beaten up for buying Playboy or Penthouse. Or frequenting straight strip clubs. For all the straight acting gays out there: go all the way, get married and have 2 kids. Then you'll really be straight. And when you want to be with men, get a blow job on the side at the local men's room.

[Interlingua]

Well, I know someone, from my class in college, who seroconverted (became HIV+ in the early 90s) even though he did nothing but perform oral sex. He also mentioned this in his Harvard alumni report (he's totally out). So do NOT believe people who say "you can't get HIV+ from performing oral sex." The rest is much lower than for, say, unprotected anal sex, but it most certainly IS possible. His only sexual activity was performing oral sex and he ended up HIV+ but is still alive and pretty healthy today.

[me]

i am confused... well duh, you can get an sti from sperm. but, if you let them shoot in your mouth, would that be just as bad as swallowing? i mean, the sperm is in your mouth, isnt that where it shouldnt be?

[me again...]

and the question asks about swallowing... not if sperm is safe in your mouth or not... this question is lame... meh...

[Jamie]

Let's be clear about what we're talking about here. I cannot confirm nor deny the claim of sperm in the mouth potentially causing an STD. It seems possible, particularly if there are open sores or otherwise paths for the a bloodborne transmission to take place. However, spitting it out wont help. If it's in your mouth the damage as potentially already been done. The question is if you can get an STD from SWALLOWING semen. I think any infection would more than likely be killed in the digestive system. That being said, there is also little chance of getting semen from point A (the dick of your potentially diseased partner# to point B #your stomach) without it getting into your mouth first. SOOOOOO... the moral of the story? Know who you're sucking dick from. Don't be promiscuous and if you insist on being promiscuous, at least be safe. Peace!

[CS]

The doctor makes the most sense. For the rest, stop trying to get gays not to suck. Get over it, they're not going to. Stop trying to get gays to be full of shame and guilt for anal sex; they're going to endure the shame and guilt anyway to have gay sex...which by the way, is simply the most intimate and amazing sex of all. (Been on all sides of it, except the lesbian side.) Safe anal sex, with condoms, is the place to start, and keep safe every time. Nobody sucks with a condom on the guy. What the..? How about re-doubling the money put forth and the effort put forth, to find a cure for HIV?

[corrective_unconscious]

>I'm not a bible thumper or a prude. I don't have to be to realize you can't catch it if you don't expose yourself to it. The best way to have any sex and not expose yourself to infection and disease is to be monogamous with an uninfected partner.

You're a black and white thinker who sounds like a prude. Partners lie, so that's no guarantee of never getting an STD. And attempting - irrationally, impossibly - to avoid any risk whatsoever means a much lower quality of life. Now, bigger risks, like HIV transmission, do require bigger sacrifices than would smaller risks, such as a case of clap.